My Immortal commentary
by Neofanatic
Summary: A commentary featuring my thoughts about My Immortal, the worst fanfiction known to the Internet.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone, this is my first fanfic commentary, my comments will be in bold. Ever since discovering My Immortal, I've wanted to do a commentary on it, and now I seem to have that chance. And quite honestly, I don't know that much about Harry Potter. I hope you like this commentary!**

** Since the "author" never bothered, I will do a disclaimer. I do not own Harry Potter or this story, and neither did the original author.**

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Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)**(No, I don't get it)** 2 my gf (ew not in that way)**(Wasn't thinking about that)** raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin**(Beiber? Well, that explains a few things)** ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!**(I don't care)**

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way**(What did she do to piss her parents off?)** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)**(Yes, because all babies are born with hair like that)** with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears**(That's not even possible)**and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).**(I guess I'm staying then)**I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.**(Ew, incest alert!)**I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.**(And I sparkle in the sun as well! Because, you know, I'm a Twilight vampire!)**I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England**(Scotland, dummy)** where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth**(I never would have guessed)** (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.**(Didn't Hot Topic sell Fosters Home For Imagainary Friends stuff? That's not goth. PREP!)** For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots.**(A disaster waiting to happen)** I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation**(But you said you were pale...)** black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining**(It's called sleet)**so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.**(Charming)**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!**(Oh boy...)**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.**(*facepalm*)**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.**(Best. Line. EVER! XD)**

AN: IS it good?**(Nope!)**PLZ tell me fangz!

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**So again, this is my first fanfic commentary up on this site, and I'm a little nervous about it. Please R&R, and I'll be back with more stupidity soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, I'm back with more My Immortal stupidity! I do not own Harry Potter or this story (Thank god for that)**

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Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom.**(Oh lucky! Usually I wake up in my locker at school!)** It was snowing and raining again.**(Sleet, hun)** I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had.**(*blink* Alrighty then)** My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet**(Because all goths love pink!)** with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas.**(This is the only normal thing about this girl)** Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears**(Where else would earrings go?)**, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.**(Kind of a messy bun? What?)**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes.**(Wait... she woke up, grinned, flipped her hair THEN opened her eyes?!)** She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.**(Let the prep conversation begin!)**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?"**(Ebony only said a sentance to him, and Willow automatically assumes she likes him?)**she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.**(Yeah, suuure you don't like him!)**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.**(That whole conversation was just... no)**

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.**(That's it?)**

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**Yeah, really not the best chapter to make fun of, but it gets better, promise! Please R&R! Until then, peace my cool people! ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey people I'm back with more dumbness! Here's chapter 3 of My Immortal!**

**I don't own Harry Potter and thankfully neither did the original "author"**

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Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!**(Wow, what a start to the chapter!)** odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis**(Wait, she doesn't own this story? Then who the fuck does?)** or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

On the night of the concert**(We don't want to hear about every single thing you wear! God!)**I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff**(*giggles* Corset stuff. You mean lace?)** on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky.**(I think you mean feathered)**I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.**(Wow, just put it out there that some people have issues why don't you?)** I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding**(Ten bucks it was Twilight)** and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner.**(You hear that guys? TONS of black eyeliner)** Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway.**(That didn't stop you in the previous chapters)**I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.**(Remember this guys, you always need to drink human blood before you go to a concert!)**

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.**(Um...no)** He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too)**(Why'd she drag Simple Plan into this?!)**, baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).**(Not at my school)**

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.**(...How does one even make that work?)**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666)**(We don't care, and that's not even a legal licence plate number)** and flew to the place with the concert.**(Wait, you flew with the concert? Boy, this gets crazier and crazier)** On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.**(Because it's so cool!)** When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood

They're all so happy you've arrived

The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom

She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fucking hot."**(Did you forget that you're on a date? You don't say that to your date!)** I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club**(Wait, now they're in a club?)** with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.**(Gee, I wonder why)**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.**(You just said Joel was 'So fucking hot' and you've never said anything like that to Draco. Liar!)**

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.**(Are we even in the mosh pit anymore? Because you can't have a sensitive moment in the mosh pit)**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff.**(Not anymore)** I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.**(A face cannot be blonde)**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled**(Look at this. They're so pissed they can't even walk anymore! )**back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!**(DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN!)**

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**Well, there's chapter three of My Immortal. Sorry if I'm not funny, I try to be. Please R&R!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy Halloween guys! To celebrate the scariness, here's chapter 4 of My Immortal, ya know, the really awkward sex chapter. Enjoy! I don't own anything in this story besides my comments!**

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Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY**(It's Enoby now? God, make up your mind!)** nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent!**(Common Mary-Sue trairt)**dey nu eechodder b4 ok!**(...Alrighty then)**

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"**(He's driving into the Forbidden Forset Enoby. Don't you remember the events of last chapter?)**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.**(So she's curious _and _angry? )**

Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.**(Woah, no need to go all crazy)**

Draco leaned in extra-close**(Hear that guys? Extra close)** and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts)**(Oh, good grief)** which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.**(I'm sorry, what?)**

And then… suddenly just as I **realized I was a Mary Sue in a bad fanfiction,** Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree.**(Wait, so he's on top of you, but you're against a tree? Um... alright then)** He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra.**(Wow Ebony, wow)**Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.**(...*facepalm* Alright. Just hold the phone for a minute. I think someone needs to go through sex ed again)**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm.**(Vampires have no blood. She can't get warm)**And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"**(How the heck did she spell 'motherfuckers' wrong?)**

It was….Dumbledore!**( BWAHAHAHAHA! XD It's so OOC it's funny!)**

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**Alright, there it is. Chapter 4 of the Worst Fanfiction ever. I might put op a few more chapters today if I get the time. Have a Happy Halloween!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Happy November everyone! Here's another chapter of crap!**

**I do not own Harry Potter or this story**

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Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr!**(What exactly is 'flam' anyways? I'm guessing one of Tara's made up words)** Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache**(Hear that guys? As long as you have a headache, it's okay to swear!)** ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!**(I guess the story's over then)**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him.**(That's not even a proper sentence)**He kept shouting at us angrily.**(No shit!)**

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.**(Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought of 'Break Your Heart' by Taio Cruz featuring Ludacris when I first read this)**

I started to cry tears of blood**(May want to see your doctor about that)** down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.**(Gee, I wonder why)**

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.**(*giggles* Sexual intercourse. Why does that make me laugh so much?)**

Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.**(I think this might be the most in character thing , please correct me if I'm wrong)**

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"**(Suuuuuuuuuure you do)**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."**(Listen up guys. Whenever you find yourself in an awkward situation, just scream 'BECAUSE I LOVE HER!' and everything will be alright.)**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels.**(Where is she going now?)** When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte.**(*facepalm* Really?)** I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.**(Wait, did she just put on a fancy dress and high heels to go to BED?!)**

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**Well, there's chapter five. Thanks for the review roflxlolxlmfao! Really appriciate it! Please R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Heyyyy people! Here's chapter six! I don't own Harry Potter or this peice of shit.**

**Also, if you're interested, I have a poll up, please help me decide what my first real fanfiction on this site should be! Thanks!**

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AN: shjt up prepz ok!**(No)** PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!**(Goood reviews guys. Make sure they're goood)**

The next day I woke up in my coffin.**(I never would have guessed)** I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black.**(We don't care about your outfit bitch!)**I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.**(Wouldn't spray paint kill your hair? And is she breathing in the toxic fumes? I hope so!)**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal**(It's like she's a goth reject! Since when has Count Chocula been a gothic cereal?)**with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood.**(Was it red, Tara?)** Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.**(Smooth)**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face**(Wait, did she just say she went down his face? Um...)**and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore.**(Oh for the love of... I can't believe this bitch! I mean, I may know Jack shit about Harry Potter, but seriously, just... ugh)**He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent.**(He hasn't even spoken yet)**He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.**(I'm sorry, we're the sickos? I think you need to look in the mirror Tara/Ebony/Enoby)**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.**(-_- I give up)**

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.**(Giggled?)**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.**(Why'd she roar? I'm sorry, am I missing something?)**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.**(Please take her far away Draco. I never want to see her again)**

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**Well, there's chapter six taken care of. Please R&R! I'll have another few chapters up in a bit!**


	7. Chapter 7

**And I'm back already with chapter seven! I don't own any of this except for my own thoughts on it.**

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AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws.**(Ten bucks it was herself reviewing)** n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons!**(First, what number is tin, and I've never heard of a God Von before, have you?)**STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U!**(I'm so scared)** Evony**(It's Evony now?)**isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!**(I had something to say about this, but I don't think I'll say it anymore)**

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs.**(Ugh...)** I was wearing red Satanist sings**(What's sings? A gothic version of rings?)**on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?)**(Um, you just described your nails. You can't tell if a character is a Mary Sue by just telling us about your nails. But because of your previous chapters, I'll say yes, you still are a Mary Sue)** I waved to Vampire.**(Where'd he come from?)** Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco.**(Now Vampires gay. Okay then)**Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…**(Oh god not again)**

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically.**(*holds out brain bleach)** He felt me up before I took of my top.**(Ewwww!)** Then I took off my black leather bra**(Ouch!)** and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine**(Wait, she has a 'boy thingie' too?)** and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)**(Yes, it still is stupid. You still need to go through sex ed again)**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!**(Oh noes!)**

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!"**(Neither do I)** Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.**(You just saw a tatoo on his arm that said Vampire. You didn't see that much actually)**

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"**(That's not a joke)**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out.**(Lets act like a third grader shall we?)** Draco ran out even though he was naked.**(He didn't have time to get dressed?)** He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care.**(Then why did you mention it?)** I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.**(BWAHAHAHA! I'd love to be in that class right now!)**

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**There's chapter six everyone! Please R&R! Until next time!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow, I am on a roll today! Another chappie! **

**I really hate having to do a disclaimer every time. I do not own Harry Potter or this damn creation!**

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Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok!**(So I looked this up on urban dictionary, and it has a meaning. It means to floss someones ass...)**if u do de prep!**(If you floss your ass your a prep?)**

Everyone in the class stared at me**(I wonder why)** and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.**(XD Really, why am I not in this class right now?)**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair**(Black hair is now gothic?)**and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on.**(Does everyone in this story wear red contacts?)** She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on.**(Huh?)** Hermione was kidnapped when she was born.**(WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?!)** Her real parents are vampires**(Of course!)** and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it.**(Um...)** She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.**(I'm sure she is)** It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )**(*blink* Right...)**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.**(Then why did you add his speech in?)**

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.**(Since when is Tara/Ebony/Enoby/Evony dating Vampire? )**

Everyone gasped.**(I'm sure they did)**

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me.**(Wait, whos perspective is this?)**I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony)**(I did not need to know that)** for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker.**(*facedesk*)** We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)**(But if he's just recently gothic, then that means he was a prep when you began hanging out with him)**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!"**(Woah, take a chill pill!)** I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility**(She lost her manliness? Well, last chapter she did say she had a boy's thingie, guess it makes sense!)**to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.

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**I'm at school right now, on my spare block, so I have a lot of time to upload chapters. Please R&R!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Wow! Another chapter already! I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal**

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Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox!**(Still...)** dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers!**(I'm sorry, what movie was she watching?)**besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE!**(That's not an excuse to swear!)**and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist!**(AHHHH!)** MCR ROX!

I was so mad and sad.**(Awww... she made a rhyme!)** I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me.**(But he didn't!)** I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.**(I feel sorry for that tree)**

Then all of a suddenly**(It's 'All of a sudden' or 'Suddenly' not both)** an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick!**(Oh noes!)** He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic.**(Really?)** It was… Voldemort!**(You just said that 18 words ago. I think we all know it's Voldemort)**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!"**(Um, isn't that Hermoine's cat?)**I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"**(And I have been sent back in time as well so I talk like this!)**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden.**(Uh-huh. Right.)** I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?**(Oh my gosh, it only took her two chapters to figure it out!)**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun.**(Did guns even exist in this time period?)** "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"**(Please, kill him, KILL HIM! KILL THEM ALL!)**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face.**(*rofl*)** "I hath telekinesis."**(So you can move things with your mind. That didn't answer the question)**he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.**(This story is just getting more awful)**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.**(Oh god... please tell me they aren't going to do it again. I'm still recovering from that last two times)**

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"**(She sounds awfully chipper)**

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit)**(...Oh, because she's a goth, she won't say cross...)**between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.**(Break up with her! BREAK UP WITH HER!)**

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.**(Wait... they were walking and making out? That must have been difficult)**

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**Yeah, this is probably the last chapter I'm going to upload today, spare block is almost over and I'm running low on energy, which makes me a lot less funny. Please R&R!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Here's chapter 10! Thanks again for the review roflxlolxlmfao! Really appriciate it! I don't own Harry Potter or My Immortal.**

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Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags**(Hello to you too)**if u donot lik ma story den fukk off!**(Wow, no need to be snippy with us, little miss 'Mary-Sue')** ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!**(I praise anyone who figured out that last sentance)**

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666.**(That's not even a proper band name!)**I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar.**(Of course you do, because that's what all Mary-Sue's DO!)** People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR.**(I think that would sound awful)** The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now.**(Face. Palm.)** He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead.**(Oh god, like the world needs more emo goth music)** I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that)**(You already have... some four chapters ago maybe?)** or a steak)**(Who knew sirloin could kill a vampire?)**and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride.**(That's not a depressing movie)** I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.**(Uh-huh, we totally believe you. *sarcasm*)**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena'**(I thought you said you were writing songs because Draco and Vampire were being emo somewhere?)** and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?"**(Woah, she just asked you a question! No need to go all Terminator on her!)** I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!"**(There was way too much swearing in those sentances)** I burst into tears.**(You just burst into tears two paragraphs ago)**

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.**(*giggles*)**

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)**(Um... I'm not sure if that's OOC, because like I've said before, I know next to nothing about Harry Potter. But the fact that everything else in this story has been, I'm assuming that is too)**

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.**(What is he, six?)**

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.**(...*opens mouth to say something but just decides to leave it*)**

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely.**(How does one cry wisely?)**(c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."**(Even though at the beginning of the chapter you said he couldn't die by slitting his wrists)**

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**Well... there's chapter 10. Honestly, it's around this point where nothing really makes no sense and Tara/Ebony/Enoby/Evony just gets incoherent. And I am now offering brain bleach with every chapter. Please R&R thanks!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey peeps! Another chappie of stupidness!**

**Again, I don't own Harry Potter and thankfully never will own this shitty thing.**

***holds out brain bleach***

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Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! **(Ugh, and so it begins...)**c if dis chaptr is srupid!**(Yes, this chapter is stupid!)**1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! **(I'm sure it does)**sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!**(UM... what did she just say?)**

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off**(She's just trying to help you in your hour of need!)**and I ran to my room crying chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.**(Yeah. Sure.)**

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists.**(Again, dealing with issues some people have. Good job Tara/Ebony/Enoby/Evony!)** They got all over my clothes**(What got all over your clothes? What's the 'they' you're referring to?)** so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily**(I picture this as if she jumped in, and the water splashed everywhere. Dunno, it makes me laugh)** while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide.**(Was it sirloin? Why do such a thing to the sirloin! It didn't do anything wrong!)**I was so fucking depressed!**(You always are...)** I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly.**(Sandly? Was there sand in it?)**I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff**(What is with her and pink!)** on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings.**(I'm really curious as to how many piercings this bitch has)**I couldn't fucking believe it.**(Still on about him?)** Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me!**(So? You are dressed, right?)** And Loopin was masticating**(chewing)** to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED!**(You just spent a paragraph explaining your clothing!)**ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.**(Of course he did! You gonna screw him too?)**

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb.**(Um... when I picture this, I think that he's doing...um... pelvic thrusts)** I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times**(Does a gun hold a gazillion bullets? Actually, I don't even think that's a number, please correct me if I'm wrong)**and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**(Oh my god, this line makes me laugh and I'm not sure why)** he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.**(Uh... wait... weren't they just inside? Now they're outside?)**

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"**(Isn't everyone in this story?)**

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him.**(Huh?)** "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.**(Again, huh?)**

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly.**(Aw, she wanted to add her favourite animal into the word)** "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"**(Was that even relevant to the conversation? I don't think so.)**

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.**(*blink* I honestly don't know what to say about that)**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.**(Does anyone here know what a clook is?)**

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.**(Oh god, now he wants to screw her too?)**

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.**(That was random)**

"Because you're goffic?"**(*low growl*)**Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"**(I CALLED IT!)**

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**There you go guys, chapter 11. As you can see, Tara/Ebony/Enoby/Evony is starting to make less sense then usual. Enjoy your brain bleach everyone! Please R&R!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey people. I know I haven't updated in awhile, schools internet being kind of weird.**

**Once again, I don't own My Immortal or Harry Potter.**

***hands out brain bleach***

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Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok**(F,aing? That another one of your made-up words Tara/Ebony/Enoby/Evony?)** hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat**(What the fuck school do you go to?)** I wunted 2 adres da ishu!**(You're not doing a very good job of it)** how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!**(Um, what?)**

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me**(When did this happen?)** in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.**(I thought you said vampires couldn't die if they...oh, just never mind)**

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire.**(Wait, where are we?)** He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!"**(I thought you didn't have the scar anymore)**and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**(Pink. That would make it pink)**

I stopped. "How did u know?"**(Wait, what? Know what?)**

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"**(Wait, what is happening? Did I miss something?)**

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!"**(See? Even Tara/Ebony/Enoby/Evony remembers!)** I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"**(I thought Draco died, and bondage? Ewww)**

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists.**(Ummm... you never did)** Snap and Loopin and HAHRID**(HAHRID. Is something funny Tara/Ebony/Enoby/Evony?)** were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz.**(Doesn't stop them here)** Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked.**(Wait.. he ATE the video camera?! No wonder he's constipated!)** I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.**(No Hargrid, don't! She doesn't like pink!)**

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v.**(She couldn't write 'very'?)**serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway**(TOLD YOU!)**, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.**(I guess gottik is now the new gothic/goffic)**

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.**(You already said that)**

"I saved your life!"**(When?)** He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene**(She was taking a bath)** and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong)**(Yes, yes it is)** to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses."**(Again, you repeated yourself)** He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black.**(You just said it was black)** Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"**(You know what Tara/Ebony/Enoby/Evony? I agree with you. What the fuck is Drako? I thought you were 'dating' Draco)**

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls**(*giggles*)** of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Enobby,**(That's a new one)**" Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"**(That was the worst line of literature I have ever read in my life)**

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it.**(So I found out the boy I like likes another girl)** There was some corset stuff on the front.**(It was a bit depressing)** Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them.**(At least we can still be friends)** I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!)**(I've seen The Ring and I'm not a goth/goff/gott)** and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.**(Oh well. I'll just find someone new to like then)**

"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly.**(Where did she come from?)** "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood.**(I'm sad about the boy liking someone else, but I'm not going to go all emo)** I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time.**(Um... I thought you said they were going to St. Mango's)**I went to some classes.**(Good for you)** Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco.**(Good for him)** He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wquallysaid**(I'm not even attempting to figure out what that word is supposed to be)** way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.**(*slams face into desk*)**

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.**(Gee, wonder why)**

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.**(You. Tried. To. Screw. Him!)**

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**(Haven't we gone through this?)**

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"**(Yup, we went through that before)**

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I

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**Chapter 12 everyone! Again, sorry about the lack of updates, I'll try to update more as soon as this internet thing is fixed! And please take a look at my poll, I'd really like to know what you guys would like to read from me! Please R&R!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Heyyy people! Chapter 13!**

**I don't own any of this, only my own comments. Enjoy the brain bleach!**

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Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin**(This reminds me of a Pokemon)** me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom!**(O_O)** PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!**(No!)**

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.**(Why?)**

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled.**(What are you, in kindergarten?)**Dumbledore came there.**(I did not need that image)**

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.**(I didn't read that like he said it angrily)**

"Volsemort**(You know, the spelling errors of everyones names is just awful)**has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.**(So... like BWAHAHAHAHA or something?)**

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.**(Huh?)**

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony."**(It's because he was either pissed or high!)** he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)**(I've never actually been a big fan of that, so no, not really)**

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood.**(Now he cries tears of blood? I think these people should go see a doctor or something)** Then he had a brainstorm.**(Jimmy Neutron, I'm so sorry)**"I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair!**(Does Voldemort have a lair?)**

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!"

It was….. Voldemort!**(No shit!)**

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**Chapter 13 everyone. *slow clap* Still have a lot of chapters to go through. Please R&R!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14. For another time, I don't own anything but my own shitty comments. **

***holds out brain bleach* I think you'll need this guys.**

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Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off PREPZ**(Yeah PREPZ)** ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists.**(Say what now?)** PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!**(Again with the god reviews.)**

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY.**(I'm sure it is)** VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.**(Look at this guys. This chapter is so scary we're going to shit our pants)**

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there.**(That just contridicted itself! WTF?!)**Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood.**(I thought he was dead)** Snaketail was torturing him.**(Oh)** Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!"**(See? See? They are preps!)** he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes.**(Oh come on)** "." he said.**(...He said period?)**(in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

"Huh?" I asked.**(Okay, so Tara/Ebony/Enoby/Evony/Enobby is confused too)**

"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?"**(They've known each other for what, two seconds?)** asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you?**(If Draco wasn't around you totally would, just admit it)** God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around.**(This is a great mental image)** Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.**(Um... why?)**

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming!**(Oh god, again with the mental images. I mean really, I just had lunch)** We could hear his high heels clacking to us.**(O_O)** So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts.**(Okay)** We went to my room.**(Mmmmm hmmmm)** Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw.**(O_O *bursts out laughing* So wait, he's not dead?)**He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah)**(Um, nope)**and a really huge you-know-what and everything.**(*rolls eyes*)**

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here**(Mary Sue rant starts now)**except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."**(That's because she's a Mary Sue too1)**

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts."**(Then what the hell is Tara/Ebony/Enoby/Evony/Enobby?)** answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me!**(Again, it's because you are a Mary Sue!)** Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked.**(But it was constipated XD)** Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me!**(But you just killed Snaketail)** I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?"**(-_-)** I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty)**(I'm sure they have)** "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.**(*slow clapping* I fucking hate this little bitch)**

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**Well, this might be one of the worst chapters yet, with the whole Mary Sue rant thing. I found a really great Mary Sue quiz, I might pit Ebony up against it and see what percentage she ends up. Please R&R!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Here's chapter 15! I'm actually starting to enjoy writing this now. I don't own any of this, except my damn comments.**

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Chapter 15.

AN: stup flaming ok!**(For the last time, NO!)** btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz!**(Um...)** fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!

"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"**(Pfffttt.)**

But I was too mad.**(You always are mad)**

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!" I shouted.**(Woah, PMS much?)** I stormed into my room**(Wait a minute, you were in your room last chapter. So you stormed out of your room and then stormed back in?)** and closed my black door with my blood-red key.**(We don't care what colour the key is)**It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it.**(Excuse me while I don't care)** He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire.**(Really gettin' tired of this)**I started to cry and weep.**(*slams face into desk several times*)** I took a razor and started to slit my wrists.**(*makes inhuman sound*)** I drank the blood all depressed.**(*actually begins to cry because it's just that terrible*)**Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.**(How you say it so casually)**

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress**(So I was texting my guy friend yesterday)**that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt.**(I was hiding because I didn't want to clan my room)** Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters.**(But I went to have something to eat because I was hungry)** I put my ebony black hair out.**(Wait, what? Oh yeah, I'm not supposed to state my own random thoughts. Don't want to be the next Tara!)**Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work.**(She's in an advanced class? Okay, I took Biology last year and it was freaking hard. And we're talking about a B average student here. This girl has the knowledge of a day old fetus, and she's in advanced Biology? I'm sorry, I feel more offended then I should be)**I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar.**(Um... what?)** Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!**(*blink*)**

"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly.**(No you don't. Just admit that she's your bitch)**"I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world.**(Because she's a Mary Sue!)** Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!."**(Did he really have to use that profanity to get his point across? Methinks not)** Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it)**(I thought they were pissed at the concert. Therefore I don't think they would have remembered what song the band was playing)**right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson**(I'm really getting sick of hearing about singers I don't listen to. Excuse me while I listen to Sugarland and Rascal Flatts at full volume)**(AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .**(I would, but I have to finish this damn commentary first)**

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers**(Yep. Because that solves all of lifes problems)** (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now)**(I give up)** at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. **(If you hate her so much, why'd you watch a movie she was in?)**Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether.**(I seriously just LOL'd at that. Like everyone would be clapping at them right now)**Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then.**(Because everything you love just happens)**We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.**(Where? The teacher just let you leave?)**

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**Yeah, I got a bit offended because of the Biology thing. Um... chapter 15 everyone! Please R&R! Really, I want some love from my readers. T_T**


	16. Chapter 16

**So I'm back with a new chappie! I don't own My Immortal or Harry Potter**

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AN: u no wut!**(What?)** sut up ok!**(Sure, as soon as you tell me what sut is!)** proov 2 me ur nut prepz!**(I'd rather not)**raven u suk**(OMG, she's fighting with Raven? YES!)** u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet **(XD)**r supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis!**(I don't see why she has to)** BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!**(Okay then)**

We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played.**(I don't care)**We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena'.**(This song has been mentioned before, and mentioned in later chapters. Honestly, is it the only song that exists in this fanfiction, or whatever the fuck you call it?)**I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures.**(*rolls eyes*)** Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother.**(I'm going to slam my head into the desk again)** I was wearing a black leather minidress**(So that boy I like joined the wrestling team)** and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets.**(He's gonna die)**Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt**(Did I tell you guys that he knows I like him? Yeah, he does)** and black baggy pants.**(I hugged him anyways this morning. XD Because that's how we say hi to each other)**Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena.**(AKA the only song in this universe apparently)**We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive.**(Are you pissed or high or something?)**Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!**(DUN DUN DUUUUUN!)**

"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!"**(But... you were just there...)**I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time?**(Why is this a question?)** Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what.**(Thats news to me. Guys at my school talk about sex all the time)**

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.**(Seriously, I think she needs to go through sex ed or something.)**

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."**(Why is escort capitalized?)**

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina**(What exactly is a Christina? I'm guessing that it's another version of a prep? I'm confused)**or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly.**(But... it's in capitals. You can't mutter if the word is in capitals...)**

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.**(God, I hope so. Then this story will be over)**

"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me.

I was flattened**(XD)**cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!**(Um... I know plenty of lyrics to songs that aren't singles, and I don't memorize them for anyone. He probably just likes the song)**

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld.**(Oh, problems in the real world)**she failed al her klasses and she skepped math."**(That just sounds like something a first grader would say)**(an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)**(LOLOLOLOLOLOL)**

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily.**(But isn't she your friend?)**

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas.**(That's not gothic. At all. That movie is pretty awesome)** "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

"Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak."**(He raped her after she was dead? Holy shit, that's crazy!)**

"Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.**(I don't even know how that would work)**

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr."**(Um... you were there at the beginning of the chapter)** I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."**(You sound like such a prep there)**

B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. **(When there's random capitalized letters and lower case letters, I think of a Pokemon creepypasta I read. If you don't know what creepypasta is, don't look it up. I don't want to give anyone nightmares)**Omfg totally lets go shopping."**(Preps will be preps after all!)**

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.**(For the last time, now I'm positive Hot Topic sold Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends stuff, and it is NOT a goth show! And from what I've heard from other people who have shopped there, they sell none of the clothes you wear)**

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin.**(Like demonic possession?)**I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?"

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me!)**(Um... you just typed it)** Or me.

"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms."**(Is broms a gothic version of moms?)**

"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly.**(The way to write that makes me think you were yelling it)**

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE**(Then why'd you mention it if it's impossible?)** and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man!**(Who even says 'man' at the end of a sentance anymore?)**Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!"**(You said they were going to St. Mango's though? Remember a couple chapters back?)**I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.**(*giggles* Sorry, sorry, my minds in the gutter today)**

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit.**(This bitch is just so lucky all the time!)** Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA way**(Look, she's finally done it and self inserted herself to tell us all she's a huge Mary Sue. Even though we knew that anyways)**what's yours?"

"Tom Rid." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!"**(Um... it's not like he wanted to go with you, he was just asking if you were gonna be there)**I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY **(Another new one!)**U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"

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**Yeah, so again, if you don't know what creepypasta is, just don't read it if you're faint of heart. Chapter 16 everyone, please R&R!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey guys, yet another chappie! Don't own this or Harry Potter.**

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Chapter 17.

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo!**(And because you keep asking, we keep will. Life just works like that)** if ur a prep den dnot red it!**(But it's so funny and we love seeing how many spelling errors one person can make in a sentance!)**u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage.**(Oh goodie, I love quizzes!)** if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF!**(What if we lie on the quiz?)**pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!**(Aw look guys. She's sad now, lets give her a pat on the head and a cookie and tell her everything is gonna be okay)**

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free.**(Lucky bitch)** He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). **(Oh, so just because a guy likes clothes and makeup he's bi? Guess I need to inform someone I know he's newly bi!)**argird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts.**(Maybe you should if it's important)** "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Willow came.**(Ew)** Hargird went away angrily.**(I would too)**

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said.**(Wait a minute, didn't she die?)**

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything.**(Mmmm. For a dead person)** She was wearing a short black corset-thingy**(I used to have pet fish)** with blood red lace on it **(I had a hamster too)**and a blak blood-red miniskirt,**(Mmmm? Oh yeah, have to remember to quit saying random things about my life!)** leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything.**(Wow... )**She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.**(But that is a serious disorder a lot of people have. It's not funny, or cool)**

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked.

"Yah." I said happily.

"I'm gong with Diabolo."**(I thought of something... else when I read that)** she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came.**(I don't want to read about them having a good time!)**They were both loking extremely hot and sexy **(Only to you)**and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it.**(And I'm just gonna zone out until the clothing description is done)**He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson.**(...)** Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower.**(...)** B'loody Mart**(Is that a new gothic store?)** was going 2 da concert wif Dracola.**(A new type of soda?)** Dracola used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth**(Everyone in this story has some long, fucked up family backstory that none of us care about. Seriously. That space could have been used for something else!)**and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth.**(Somehow that doesn't surprise me)**He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now.**(Actually, you called him Dracola)** Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik)**(Actually, I don't understand)**that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak.**(Because drugs are awesome!)** Draco and I made out.**(Wait, so who's driving?)** We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there….I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva!**(I'm sure he was, you emo gothic bitch)** He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes.**(I'm surprised she didn't change them to red)** He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena**(See? Only fucking song in this universe)** and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes...**(Didn't we go through this last chapter?)** Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came.**(Why? You were so scared that you just... came?)**It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!**(Yeah, we already did go through this!)**

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. **(But she couldn't because *fake dreamy voice* He reminded her of Joel Madden)**hou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!"**(:D YAY!)**

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.**(*gets popcorn* My wishes have come true!)**

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick.**(D: Awwww...)** He had lung black hair and a looong**(Looong guys)** black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back.**(Oh for fucks sake! Now she dragged Avril into this? This bitch is going DOWN)** He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away.**(Just like that?)** It was…DUMBLYDORE!**(...But why would he save them?)**

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**Thanks so much to Julie and roflxlolxlmfao for the reviews! Keep em coming guys, I love to see that my work is appriciated. :) Enjoy your brain bleach, see you all next chapter!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey, I'm back with another chapter! Enjoy your brain bleach! For the upteenth time, no, I don't own anything about this story.**

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Chapter 18.

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING!**(The more you say it, the more we will)** if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep.**(Tryin' to win her back won't do nothin')** fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!**(Is she still on about that? Wow, that was how many chapters ago now?)**

I woke up the next day in my coffin.**(My locker!)** I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow,**(Is eyesharrow the gothic version of eyeshadow?)** blood-bed lipstick**(blood-BED?! WTF?)**and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly.**(I just... don't care)** I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.**(Again, I don't care)**

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth).**(Haha you're so cleaver haha NO!)** Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff**(*snickers*)**was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom.**(*the sound of a head smashing into a keyboard can be heard*)** We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what**(SEX!)** to a Linkin Park song.)

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. **(Good for you)**There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant.**(Oh noes!)** And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.**(Aren't they from the 90's or something?)**

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing **(Stop. Just stop right there. Do you really need to mention what everyone is wearing the moment you bring them up? Methinks not. It really doesn't matter what the people are wearing, or, how about this, bring it up some other way!)** black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets.**(Okay, clothing porn is over now, you can come out of hiding)**Vampire, Dracula and Draco came.**(*blank face*)**We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.**(Course they were, because this is Tara-land, where everyone is exactly like her)**

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came.**(I... have no comment for this anymore)** He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. **(So it's Dumbledore)**e had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.**(Hair, not hare. If you say hare, I'm assuming you're talking about the rabbit-like creature insted)**

"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.**(I think we already knew it was Dumbledore!)**

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!"**(Oh no, Dumbledore is a poser, oh what are we going to do? I know, END THE FREAKIN' STORY ALREADY!)**

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. **(*facepalm*)**ell we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.**(I can believe it)**

"BTW you can call me Albert." **(XD Albert?! Oh my god, that just made my day)**HE CALLED AS WE LEFT**(YOUR CAPS LOCK IS STUCK!)** to our classes.

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous.**(Kinda like me when I see my crush with his gf?)** I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard)**(Wow, you're so funny NOT!)** but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.**(Mmmmm... okay then)**

I was so fucking angry.**(Uh-huh...)**

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**So... chapter 18. Please keep the reviews coming, I live for 'em! And please vote for what fanfiction I should write, it'll be open until I finish this, so you'll have plenty of time! See ya'll next chapter!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys, I'm back with another chapter! I only own my comments.**

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Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise**(Best chapter name ever)**

AN: plz stup flaming da story**(Well... since she said please...)** if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!**(Well that just cancels out the please)**11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!**(...Okay, you do that whatever that means)**111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!**(I'm so scared)**1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11

All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore.**(So what if he's a 'poser'. Seriously, who cares?)**We were so fucking pissed off. **(When aren't you?)**Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.**(Oh dear lord, not again)**

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes.**(Wow...even I wouldn't go that low)** Draco was being all secretive.**(It's probably because he wants to screw you again)**

I asked what it was and he got all mad me**(Why?)** and started crying all hot and angsty**(Again, why?)** (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).**(I wouldn't know)**

"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily**(He sounds like me in ninth grade. I think that is the most terrifying thing of all)** as his black hare went in his big blue eyes**(I thought she made him wear red contacts?)**like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints**(NO! Stop explaining every single peice of clothing they wear! It's driving me insane!)** a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik)**(I'm getting sick of the 'geddit koz im goffik' thing as well. I think we get the point)** I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it**(Also, stop repeating yourself)** a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)

"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled.**(:D Maybe they'll break up this time!)**

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!"**(Um... what? God, this story is more confusing then trying to figure out Stephenie Meyers logic in Twilight!)** he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd.**(Which wasn't much really..)** I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door.**(I got a bad mental image from that)** I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces**(*rofl* Okay, so she cried on her shit? That is a really funny mental image, next time you're upset, think of that)**like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO**(FUN WITH CAPS LOCK PEOPLES!)** smoke pot.

Suddenly Hargrid came.**(Saywhatnow?)** He had appearated.**(What a perv!)**

"You gave me a fucking shock!"**(That's not what I'd be saying if a boy appeared in the girls bathroom)**I shouted angrily dropping my pot.**(Wouldn't that start a fire?)** "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?"**(That's along the lines of what I'd say first. Then I'd beat the shit outta them)**

Only it wasn't just Hargrid.**(Two boys? Is this gonna be a threesome?)** Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.**(Pfffffftttttt...)**

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse.**(Wanna be a wannabe?)** "What are u wearing to the concert?"

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped.**(Considering he was at the fake concert, yeah, he probably does)**

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2."**(So only goths and punks can listen to MCR? News to me)**He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u."**(Anytime a chapter ends with that, they end up screwing. So... I guess be prepared)**

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**Chapter 19 everyone! Thanks for the review Guest! Enjoy your brain bleach, please R&R!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Wow, I haven't updated in so long! Sorry guys! Another chappie!**

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AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink!**(I hoenstly don't know what half those words are supposed to be)** stof pflamin ok prepz!1**(Quit calling us freaken preps already!)** fangz 2 raven 4 da help!**(Honestly, look in your heart Tara. Is she really helping, or making this story worse?)**1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz.**(Like anyone even wants an update)**

All day I wondered what the surprise was.**(Again, look in your heart. He's probably going to screw you)**Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini**(*smashes head into wall* I'll be tuning out until she finishes her clothing description)** a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one.**(You already made that apparent last chapter. You don't need to tell us again)** I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited.**(So as you were dancing, you were bleeding? You'll have some blood to clean up afterwards then)** Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom.**(Moshing and picking out clothes. Well then)**I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.**(But we don't want to read about your lame emo sex anymore)**

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Loopin!**(Oh HELL no)**"R u gonna cum rape me or what."**(Cum...rape. Um... dunno if that was a misspelling or...not)**I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.**(And you said they were going to St. Mangos! You liar!**

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell)**(Haha no)** kan I plz burrow sum condemns."**(*blink* Well then, whatever floats your boat)** he growld angrily.

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?"**(That was rude. And not even allowed)**I shouted sarkastikally.

"Fuker." He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1**(I was not expecting that)**

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!"**(Why is she an idiot now? She just walked in on them having sex, that's all)**they both shooted angrily**(So they shot her?)** when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying.**(Why?)** Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it)**(Excuse me, I just need to *runs into washroom-puking can be heard*Okay, I'm better)**but both of them were fuking preps.**(That shouldn't make a difference)**(btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now)**(I don't care)**

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?"**(Okay, but why? It's not like a guy can get pregnant...)** I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)**(Really Tara? Good job! Here's a cookie!)**

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin**(XD Lumpkin)** shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot angrily. And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.**(Well then, surprise twist!)**

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

"It wuz to blackmail u."**(Oooooh... blackmail. Even I wouldn't go that low)**I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork.**(Pfft. Dumbledork. Funny)** So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. **(So she removed a bruise from her body, threw it, and they tripped? Um, well, okay then, Tara logic still boggles my mind)**ell anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.**(Um, EXCUSE ME, but you have a boyfriend, remember?)**

"WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum."**(Did I miss some yaoi sex scene or something?)**Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me?**(Of course she will! She'll have sex with anything!)**2 the concert?"

Then….. he showed me his flying car.**(He stole it from Draco!)**I gasped. It was a black car.**(...yay...)** He said his dogfather **(*spittake* DOGFATHER?! XD His father is a dog?! OMG, I just... need a moment)**Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666**(It's still not a legal licence number)** on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY' on it.**(He spelled her name wrong!)**

….I gasped.**(That he fucked up your name?)**

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik.**(But... that's cheating!)** I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. **(I think not)**Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena'**(Only song in the universe)** and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner.**(Yeah, because your cheating on him!)**

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**Sorry I haven't updated in so long! Please R&R!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys, this is probably the only update I'll do in about two weeks, winter vacation is in two days, and I've been updating this from school since my computer is a slow ass peice of shit. And all the chapters are in my profile on the schools computer. So... enjoy this chapter peeps. *hands out brain bleach***

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Chapter 21.

AN: fuk u ok!**(Well hello! :D How are you today?)** u fokng suk.**(That good?)**itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok**(Actually, yeah, it is)** koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!**(*blink*)**1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help.**(Hun, when are you going to realize she's not helping you at all?)** btw transilvana rox hrad!**(Mmmmm. Sure)**1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!**(So I actually looked this up, Dracula was not filmed there. At all. Tara, you are a lying wannabe goth, and a disgrace to real goths anywhere.)**

Later we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room. "Draco are u okay?"**(You were making out with Vampire last chapter, and he saw. You really think he's okay?)** I asked in a gothic voice.

"No I'm not u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily.**(See? Now he's pissed at you) ** He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way.**(How does one run suicidally anyways?)**I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

"Its ok Enoby." said Vampire comfortly. "Ill make him feel better."**(Meaning he'll go fuck his brains out)**

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!"**(See?)** I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too.

"Draco please come!"**(Yep, see? He totally wants to rape him. And also Vampire, Draco won't cum unless he's turned on. Get your facts straight)** he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face.**(I'm honestly not surprised)** I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)**(*rolls eyes*)**

And then….. we herd sum footsteps!**(THE SUSPENSE)**Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr.**(Chuck)** Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily.**(I guess the Chuck Norris jokes got to him, and now he resumes to being in a horrible fanfiction. I'd write something about it, but I can't think of anything right now)**We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.**(Excuse me while I don't care)**

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr.**(Chuck)** Norris.

"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!"**(Wow, language young man! Tsk tsk! Your mother would be so proud!)** Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.**(So he put his head underneath his chest and whisper-yelled. Uh... okay then)**

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr.**(Chuck)** Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Filth nodded. And then….Vampir frenched me!**(Why?)** He did it jus as….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1**(Pfffftttt)**

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him.**(God, this story has so mnay funny mental images)**And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.**(Yeah, because you're cheating on him you bitch!)**

"Draco!" I cried. "R u okay?"**(Um, does it look like he's okay?)**

"I guess though." Draco weeped.**(The most common lie is 'I'm okay' When someone says something along those lines to you, they really aren't okay. The more you know!)** We went back to our coffins frenching each other. **(Even after you made out with Vampire?)**raco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin)**(I wouldn't know)** on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up**(?)** and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. **(Oh good God, now she has visions? Add that to the list of Mary-Sue traits)**There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1

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**Chapter 21 everyone! About 20 chapters left to go! Please please PLEASE R&R, I'd really like to know if it's worth the effort to continue this. See ya'll next year if we survive 2012! :D**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey guys! I have good news and bad news. Good news is that I am back on track with updates! Bad news-I just lost a friend today. :( But-things like this happen in life. Thanks so much to the people who reviewed while I was on break. I really appriciate it.**

**So without further ado... Chapter 22!**

**(I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal)**

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Chapter 22.

AN: stfu!**(Nope)** prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of**(God, what's really scary is that this is how I would react o_O NOOOOOOO!)** I no itz mr. noris itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!**(I love this imaginary fights with Raven. When will you realize she's a figment of your imagination?)** no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok **(Doubt it)**prepz suk!1**(You just insulted yourself)**

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. **(Wait, what happened last chapter again? Lemme go look)**ell anyway, I woke up the next day.**(You know what? I just don't care anymore. I'm going to assume it was something stupid)**I was in my coffin so I opened the door.**(Good job, Captain Obvious)**I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas.**(What is with the leather clothing? That would hurt like hell!)** Then I gasped.**(Because you were in pain?)**

Standing in front of me where…. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!**(What. The. Crud. Why were they just standing there waiting for her to wake up?)**

I opened my crimson eyes. **(But... wouldn't your eyes already be open?)**Willow was wearing**(o_o Oh dear god. The rest of this paragraph is fucking description of clothing. Somebody HELP ME!)**a tight black leather top**(THAT WOULD HURT)** with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it **(I have no comment)**and black gothic boots that was attached to the top.**(That sounds really confusing)** Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt**(DON'T EVER DRAG SIMPLE PLAN BACK INTO THIS AGIN BITCH!)** and baggy black pants and Vans.**(WTF are Vans?)**Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy.**(I like how it's almost, not hotter than)**Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage**(Oh, I'm so sure it did)** with a white apron that said 'bich' and other swear words**(Bich isn't a swear word. Bitch is though)** and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. **(Mmmmm. Sure.)**Darkness (who is Jenny)**(Ginny)** was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress**(How do you even weave lace? Which is what I presume it's made of)**with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing**(I HATH TELEKENISIS!)** and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle.**(Wait wait. So I'm presuming that Crab and Goyle are boys. So from her description, it sounds like they were wearing dresses too!)** It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire.**(Everyone's parnets in this fucked up story are vampires)**He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor.**(Gee, that sounds familiar. Imma just ignore the fact that you said vampires can't die by slitting their wrists)** He had raped them and stuff before too.**(That's a new one!)**They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.**(And it's back to generic 'How to know if your a goof, oops sorry goff XD)**

"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"**(Well at least she reacts somewhat normally to waking up with everyone surrounding you!)**

"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said.**(Yeah, your name!)**

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.**(LOL like he hasn't seen you naked before)**

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful."**(Oh god, just kill me now and put me out of my misery)**Draco said in a sexy voice.

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."**(I have no comment for this)**

"I will I will." he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation.**(Even though you are PALE)** Then I came.**(XD Funny)** We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her.**(Hey, reminds me of that preppy skank my ex-friend is with!)**Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork.**(If that was a typo, it was epic)**Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"**(:D)**

"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!"**(YESSSSSSSSSSSS MY DREAM MAY COME TRUE AFTER ALL)** yelled Cornelia Fudge.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS!**(Okay... guess that kinda makes sense)** YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"**(Yes YES! KILL THEM ALL! KILL THEM ALLLLLLL!)**

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…..Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."**(The invincible Mary Sue!)**

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other…I gasped.

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**Chapter 22 everyone! Keep the reviews coming, makes me feel good knowing people actually like my work.**

**And now, a rant. This is incoherent to the story and you can just go right to the review button, but it's something I really need to get off my chest.**

**RANT START**

**So remember the guy friend I said I liked a few chapters back? And he knew? Well, his skanky friend set him up with her best friend, and she is a total SLUT! Like, they kinda remind me of Ebony in a way, violating the dress code and shit like that. Both of them are a really bad influence on him, and I KNOW they don't like me AT ALL, because I guess they feel I'm a threat to his 'wonderful' relationship with his girlfriend. He told me he needs to act around his girlfriend becasue she doesn't understand him. If you are in a relationship, you shouldn't have to act around them. They should accept you for who you are. I usually don't feel like this, and I usually don't like ranting about this stuff, but seriously. I was one of his first friends at this school. And being driven away by a couple of bimbo airhead sluts really aggrivates me. I just lost one of my best friends today, because he is so stupid not to realize who really cares about him. **

**RANT END**

***breathes* That felt good. But yeah, read and review, see ya'll next chapter!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey guys! I just handed in my grad transistions booklet! *happy dance* Know it's not important, but I wanted to share my excitement. I do not own anything other then my own fricken' comments.**

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Chapter 23.

AN: dhut da fok up biches!**(So what exactly is 'dhut?' Sure, we'll dhut the fok up when we know what it means!)**1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!**(Most of them BAD!)**1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox**(Dear lord, she didn't actually read the books?)**gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!**(We're a couple of preps!)**

The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily.**(Pffffffft)** Then Dumbledum**(Another brilliant typo)** and Rumbridge sawed us.

"MR. WAY**(Did she just have a sex change?)** WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!"**(Okay, hold the phone. He actually yelled 'What the bleep are you doing'? So... he has a censering system in his body? I've never known anyone who has gone to say a swear word and said bleep insted. And if this was Tara's way of censoring, it's kinda too late for that. Considering you've sworn like a sailor for the last 22 chapters and just swore in your authors note. What I'm trying to say is that this whole sentence is a collective fail) **Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.

"Oops she made a mistake!"**(You got that right!)**he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody cum in!"**(Uh-huh, sure that's what she meant)**

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary.**(I don't care)** Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. **(I don't wanna know!)**They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo.**(Who's that?)**I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup.**(It just magically appeared out of nowhere!) **Then I herd someone shooting angrily.**(Well, you normally are angry when you're shooting a gun)**I looked behind me it was…Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother.**(I'm seeing a really epic gun fight)**

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. **(*hums a tune while waiting for stupidity to stop*)**I want to shit next to her!1"**(... O...kay then you do that)**

"No I do!" shouted.**(Who? Who shouted? Don't leave me in suspence!)**

"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.**(Uh huh.)**

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire.**(Why am I reminded of the messed up love triangle in Twilight?)** And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) **(Again, wasn't thinking that way)**They started to fight and beat up each other.**(Fight, fight fight!)**

Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop.**(News flash, when someone tells you to stop doing something, it just makes them do it more)**All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick.**(Voldemort)** He had no nose **(You JUST said that)**and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart.**(I'd think so)**Britney that fucking prep started to cry.**(I would have peed)**Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped.**(This makes me laugh and I don't know why)**Da room fell silent….Volzemort!**(NO! BECAUSE WE NEVER WOULD HAVE FIGURED THAT OUT!)**

"Eboby…..Ebony…." Darth Valer**(Who the fuck is Darth Valor?)**sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well.**(YAY!)** If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!"**(Double yay!)**

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!"**(Then just do it already and kill him)** Then he flew away cackling.

I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me.**(What? Wrong word for that statement)**Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.**(Good. GOOD!)**

"No!" I screamed sexily.**(I'd love to hear what that sounds like XD)**Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

"Ebony Ebony aure you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah."**(No, not really)** I said sadly as I got up.

"Everyfing's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensetive.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily. **(After she JUST SAID everything was alright)**Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"**(I still need to see that movie...)**

"Its ok gurl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though."**(Wow, is this... half a normal sentence?)**

"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went.

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**So I told that boy off today. XD He looked so confused as to why I didn't want to be friends with him anymore. And I said it right in front of his friends. *shrugs* Oh well. His loss. Please R&R!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys, another update! Thank you so so much for your kind reviews :) It really made my day. So here we go, one chapter of crap with Mary-Sue all over it.**

**I OWN NOTHING! :K**

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Chapter 24.

AN: prepz stup flaming da story**(Seriously, she's been asking this for how long? Since the story began? We're not gonna listen, so YOU fuck off)** ur jus jelous**(I don't think so)** so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!**(She ain't helpin ya much kid)**

Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.**(*sigh* So it begins...)**

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese.**(Why would she speak in Japanese if the class isn't a Japanese class?)**She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever. **(*bored tone* Uh huh)**he had long dead black hair**(*blink* Wouldn't dead hair have no pigment?)**with blood red tips and red eyes.**(Gee, sure sounds a lot like Ebony)** (hr mom woz a vampire.**(I never would have guessed -_-)**he's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing.**(*heavy sigh* I hate you so much right now)** she n b'loody mry get along grate**(I don't care)**) She's really young for a teacher.**(Define 'young for a teacher' Like, 19 or something?)**2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress.**(Why is she wearing a top over a dress? I believe the dress you were referring to should have been a skirt. And I've said this before, but leather clothing would hurt like hell)** We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong.**(Who is this?)** I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik?"**(I've never had a teacher compliment on my nail polish, have you?)**

"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks.**(Okay. Short rant here. So I said this in the first chapter that HT sold Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends stuff, and that it wasn't goth because it's not. Now I hear that this store sells My Little Pony merchandise, which is even less goth then FHFIF. So Tara, I believe that preps would know what HT was, it obviously doesn't sell your weird ass goth clothing, and it just proves you are a majour fucking prep. End rant)**I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"

"Ho about now?" she asked.

"OK." I said.

"OK class fucking dismissed every1."**(But didn't class just start ten seconds ago?)**Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps.**(Because preps are a sin of nature, and they must be punished)**"Please do exorcize (geddit)**(This doesn't make you gothic)**1 on page 3."

"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice.**(Because I am the noble Mary Sue that under any circumstances can not die or let loved ones die)**I'm so worried is Draco gong 2 die.

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

"What do you c?" she asked.

"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."**(I have no comment to this)**

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco.**(OF FUCKING COURSE IT WAS!)** He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather**(****Again with the damn leather)** facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt."**(Did I miss something? Did she piss off this teacher when I was distracted watching Japanese Pokemon trailers?)** said Proffesor Sinister.

"Bye bitch." I said waving.**(Okay, guess I didn't miss something after all)**

I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.

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**Ugh, that was painful. I just can't believe someone could be this idiotic and KEEP GOING ON WITH THE STORY! *deep breath* Please keep the reviews coming, and I'll see you all next chapter my readers. :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey guys, I'm back again with a new update! Wow, chapter 25 already! We're getting through this! Thanks for the reviews, it really makes my day. :) Enjoy your brain bleach!**

**I don't own this. Thank god for that.**

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Chapter 25.

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up**(I love how this Justin is mentioned twice in this whole story. Some love of her life he is)**1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!**(I don't think they'd listen to you *points to self* I'm kinda a nerd, and I know I wouldn't listen to her. And who's to say that nerds know how to put viruses on computers? Again, I am a nerd, and know nothing of the such) **1111111111 FUK UU!**(This is really getting stupid)**1 raven fangz for de help!1**(SHE ISN'T HELPING IS SHE EVEN REAL?)(I counted 16 1's)**

I was so excited.**(Mmmm hmmm)** I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again.**(Oh god no, I still haven't recovered yet)**We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.**(Oh no)**

"Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say." whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.**(She didn't say much, just said to look in the crystal ball)**

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow."**(Did she? I don't remember that) ** I grumbled in a sexy voice.**(How the hell can you grumble in a sexy voice? Anyone care to explain?)** He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it**(*rolls eyes*)**, and gave it to me to spork.**(A spork couldn't do that. At least I don't think it could)**He started to fly the car into a tree **and it exploded into a fiery ball, smoke billowing into the air. Everyone was silent for a moment before cheering loudly, as Ebony's charred corpse was dragged from the car by Draco. Everyone stood in a circle around the dead Mary Sue, not knowing what to do next. Suddenly, the body of the wannabe gothic girl began to glow in a warm yellow light, and she was slowly reduced to ash. At that very moment, the hellish world she had created vanished, the characters clothing and personalities returned to normal. Anyone who was supposed to be dead fell to the ground in a limp heap, and peace was restored to Hogwarts once again. At least that's how it would be if I owned the story, but I don't. Back to crap everyone! ** We went to the top of it.**(*sigh*)** Draco put on some MCR.

"And all the things that you never ever told me

And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." sang Gerard's sexy voice.**(Ugh. Someone help me)** We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently.**(Oh god, I just knew it)** He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar.**(THE LEATHER WOULD HURT STOP WEARING LEATHER!)**I took of his black boxers. Then… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.**(You. Still. Need. To. Go. Through. Sex. Ed.)**

"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an orgism.**(You wouldn't have one after two seconds. This is what bugs me about lemons and stuff. Half the time the girl wouldn't even reach her climax. At least that's what I've been told)**We stated frenching passively. Suddenly… I fell asleep.**(Because it was just that terrible)**I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.**(This is important why?)**

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them.**(Okey dokie)**He ran away in a red car.

"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice."Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.**(This would sound a lot better as, 'I woke up in a panic, drenched in sweat. Draco was still asleep, which I was surprised about. I thought for sure I would have awoken him. My dream was still fresh in my mind, and something was bothering me about it. I concentrated on the two men I'd seen getting shot, I knew I'd seen them before. Suddenly, clear as day, I knew who they were. "Oh my fucking god, NO!" I screamed, forgetting Draco was asleep. His eyes flew open, and he looked at me in a concerned way. "Ebony?" he asked, "What's wrong? What happened?"' Okay, that's how I think that line should have gone)**

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. **(Because you have a serious condition that you need to tell your doctor about)**I told Draco to call Vampire.**(Why?)** He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where… Lucian and Serious!111**(That's nice, I don't care)**

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**So here it is, chapter 25. Please R&R! And just a reminder the poll on my profile is still open, please vote for what you think should be my first fanfiction on the site! I'll see you all next chappie!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Heyyy people. I'm baaaaack with an update! Here's your brain bleach, enjoy every drop of it. I don't own anything here except my comments.**

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Chapter 26.

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!**(She asks this, like, every chapter. And who's to say it's only the preps flaming? What about real goths, jocks, skaters, stoners, geeks, nerds, gamers and everyone else?)** if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself **(Uh, no)** fokeng prep! U SUK!**(You just said that)**111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11**(I could look back to see what she had said, but I don't feel like it)**

A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree.**(After just a few minutes? What, is the tree right near the school or something?)**He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.**(I don't give a flying fuck)**

"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily**(Yeah, flirt with another guy in front of your boyfriend. Good job)** as I started to sob. Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me.**(Methinks not)** I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

"Oh fuck it!" Vampire shouted angrily. **(Usually when you yell you are angry. Dumb ass)**He4 started to cry sadly. "What fucking dick did that!"**(Wait, what is he even talking about? The guy in the dream that shot the dumb goth guys?)**

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor."

We ran out of the tree **and suddenly were plummeting towards their deaths. Draco and Vampire stopped mid-air, because this is a dumb story and fuck everything that makes sense, while the gothic Mary-Sue continued to fall, and landed with a heavy thud on the ground, breaking several bones. Draco and Vampire slowley walked over to her, looking down at her curiously. "Is she still alive?" Draco asked. Vampire poked Ebony's arm, and she moaned in response. "Yeah, she's still alive. Something should be done about that." He then took out his wand, and performed the killing spell, which sent the Mary-Sue to the depths of hell. Gos, why don't I own this story?**and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.

"Sire are dads have been shot!" **(So? They were going to die anyways. Everyone does)**Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem."

Dubleodre started to cockle.**(It sounds like he has a dick down his throat!)**"Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony's not divisional?"

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look motherfucker." he said angrily**(Woah, random POV change AND a sex change! Ebony's outdone herself this time)** as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter).**(WTF does this even mean? Someone please tell me)**"U know very well that I'm not get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!"**(Oooo, is there gonna be a porno?)**

"Okay." he said in a intimated voice.**(Why would he be intimidated by her?)** "Were are they?"

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "Longdon."**(The gothic version of London!)** I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff.**(How casual this all sounds. In a real fanfic, or story, it would explain what he did)**After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them.**(Please add quotations whenever someone is speaking)**After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found.**(Again, way to short and casual)** Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together.**(I don't care)** I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office **(But didn't you just say you were going up to your rooms?)**hile Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room.**(Again, hate how casual this sounds)** We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes.**(*rolls normal blue-green eyes*)**Then, we kissed.**(*pukes*)** Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1**(What a cliffhanger! Not!)**

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**Yeah, this was a bad chapter. *shudders* Believe it or not, it gets worse. Worse then this. 18 chapters left to go! Please R&R!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Oh my god, this chapter... I have no words. Just read on. I... oh god no. I don't own this, thank god**

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Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u**(They suck blood. Of course they will hurt you!)**

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!**(Yay, it only took you 27 chapters to figure that out!)**1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!**(But she still hasn't learned to stop asking people to stop flaming)**111 fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl**(When she says stuff like this, it sounds like she's a freakin les!)**soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital**(Wut?)** rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111**(Holy shit I counted 30 1's)**

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them.**(Oh did she now?)** Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. **(GROUP HUG!)**The nurse started to give them medicine.

"Cum on Enoby." said Proffesor Sinatra.**(Who the fuck is Professor Sinatra?)** She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it**(Vampires have no blood)** and fuking black platinum boots.**(The word 'fucking' does not need to be here)**"I have to tell you the fucking perdition."

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily**(Meaning she must have taken a long, deep breath)** and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black started to look into a black crucible ball.**(WTF is a crusible ball?)**She said… "Tara**(SELF INSERT OMG MARY SUE ALERT THIS IS THE WORST OF THEM ALL)** I see drak times are near." She said badly. She peered into da balls.**(*giggles*)**"You see, you must go back in time." **(Oh good grief)**She took out a Time-Toner like B'loody Mary had. "When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken.**(Then he should have got it fixed. No one wants to live without a fireplace)**Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?"**(His name would still BE Voldemort, dumbass)** I shook my head. "U must go back in time and sedouce him.**(Wait, what just happened? Did I read that right? I did NOT see that coming. This is just... GAH!)**It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him.**(But wouldn't that have a negative effect on the present then?)** You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

"Okay." I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin.**(The what?)** I went outside again sadly.

"What fucking happened?" asked Draco and Vampire.**(Again, the word 'fucking' does not need to be there)**

"Yeah what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?**( Did B'loody Mary get an upgrade in her name? And why is there a question mark at the end of the sentence, it doesn't need to be there)**

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there.**(Um... not like they'd be listening in anyways)**They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond.**(Fond of what? Fond of chocolate cake? Fond of baby bunnies? Fond of My Little Pony?)** Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco.**(Then talk with him)** They were cheesing my name**(So they had cans of spray cheese and were writing your name everywhere?)** and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore.**(Mary-Sue is a Mary-Sue)** A banner was put up.**(Yay?)** Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz-**(I doubt they would be. I wouldn't even be at the party. I'd rather be watching Japanese Pokemon trailers and reading Professor Oak memes!)**depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr.**(Chuck)** Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley's Whizard Wises.**(Like fireworks exsisted in this time. Did they?)**

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.**(Yay, suspence!)**

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**Two updates in one day, wow that's something! Chapter 27 everyone! Maybe with enough updates I can have this done by Valentines Day! Please R&R, see ya'll next chapter!**


	28. Chapter 28

**First, I want to thank the kind reviewers for making me feel better when I was sad on the weekend. Seeing that two more comments had been left really brightened my day, thank you so much! This chapter is for you guys - the readers. Enjoy your brain bleach!**

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Chapter 28.

AN: I sed stop gflmaing**(She just doesn't learn, does she?)** da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!**(The spelling errors in this story never cease to amaze me)**11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK!**(*sigh*)** fangz 2 fily 4 da help!**(The fuck is Fily? Never heard of this person before!)**1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111**(I don't want to know what this gothic girl does with kiwi, please don't tell me either)**

We went in2 a blak room.**(And the stupidity starts right away)**The wallz were blak**(You just made that clear)**with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle.**(Why?)** Red vevlet lined da blak box. **(I don't care)**There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem.**(The fuck is this?)** I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it**(That's nice)**, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong**(Quit wearing clothes that make no sense and would hurt!)** underneath.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Drako and Vampire.

"Are you okay?" Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine.**(Shouldn't that be Draco insted?)** He was wearing black nail polish.**(STOP WITH THE EMO!)** I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.**(AHHHHHHHHHHHH!)**

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily.**(How is this possible?)** I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. "The problem is….I have to seduce Volxemort.**(Which is wrong on so many levels)** Ill have 2 go bak in time"

Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.

"Itz okay Eboby." he said finally. "But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?"**(She should)**

"Of coarse not!" I gasped.**(Please do. We all know the story will be over when you break up with him)**

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

We frenched sexily.**(Oh god no)** Vampire looked at us longingly.

Then… I took off Draco's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants.**(OH DEAR GOD NO NOT AGAIN NO MORE EMO SEX PLEASE!)** He was hung lik a stallone.**(O_O Tee Em Eye!)** He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it.**(*facedesk*)** Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way.**(I don't think so!)** Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).**(And now Harry Potter is filming a porno. This is a new low for this story. I didn't think it was possible, but it was)**

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.**(I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know!)**

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock**(WTF? Since WHEN has a dick been known as a Star Treck character? I've never heard this name for it before.)**in my you-know-what and passively we did it.**(No. My brain! Help!)**

"I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." he screamed**(I DON'T WANNA KNOW!)** as we got an orgasm.**(That wouldn't happen unless you were both really into it, which they probably weren't. In other words, this isn't possible)** We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly.**(I'm so sorry Harry Potter)** Suddenly….

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"**(Dumbledore?)**

It was….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111**(Eh, close enough)**

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**Well... chapter 28 everyone... I think I need to go soak my brain in bleach for 10 hours now. My eyes have been raped. =S Well, please R&R, I'll see you next chapter.**


	29. Chapter 29

**I'm baaaaaaaaack! Here's your dose of stupid!**

**I don't own this stupid peice of shit**

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Chapter 29.

AN: sot das fok up!**(Quit telling us to shut the fuck up! WE AREN'T LISTENING!)**11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz**(And who's to say we're all preps?)** so fok u!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help**(How can she help when she isn't real?)** MCR ROX 666!111111111111

"Oh my satan!1" we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin.**(I'd love to see this work)** Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily.**(Yay they finally died)**

"CUM NOW!1!" **(No, don't!)**Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily.**(They can just do that on cue?)** We left the room putting on our clothes.**(I don't care)** Snoop**(He got an upgrade to a rapper?)** garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.**(I want caramel...)**

"Hey what the fuck!111" Vampire shooted angrily.**(I really love how shouted is always shooted)**

"Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?"**(Too much profanity in this sentence. Adding 'fuck' in a sentence does not make you sound cool)**Draco demonded all protective, looking at me Longley**(Why is this word capitalized?)** with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango's.**(Yeah, they were supposed to go there a million chapters ago!)**So give back da camera!1111"

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly.**(WTF? Y there no quotation marks)**

"Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle.**(I don't even know what's going on anymore)** She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it.**(Um... okay then)** There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).**(Creepy stalker alert people)**

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1).**(This isn't Vampire Chronicles, this is Harry Potter)** Vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.**(*sigh*)**

And then….. he and Snoop both took out guns using magic.**(They appeared out of thin air!)** They started to shoot each other angrily.**(What?)** Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. **(Yeah right!)** took out my wand.

"Crosio!" I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets.**(I wanna go see a ballet...)** I STOPPED DA CURSE.**(Y U USE SO MANY CAPITALS?!)** Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up.**(*facedesk* None of this makes sense!)** She took out a box of tools. Den she said "OK Serverus I'm going 2 go now." She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.

"It's ok Enoby." said Draco. "Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Snake."**(The fuck is a cideo?)**

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111**(Oh dear...)**

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**Well... here's this chapter. Sorry I took so long updating, I've had a lot of schoolwork and grad is coming up and I've been busy playing Pokemon and writing my book and I've run out of excuses. So sorry, and I'll see you all next chapter!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Wow... haven't updated in awhile, new semester at school not giving me much time... but here it is, new chapter.**

**I do not own My Immortal or Harry Potter**

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Chapter 30.

AN: stop flaming da story ok**(I find it amazing how she still asks us not to flame after she knows it sucks)** u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok**(I think I do. You're gonna be all emo, then someone will slit their wrists, and you'll go into over-detail with clothing descriptions)**1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep**(Oh noes! Now I'll be forced to wear miniskirts and sparkly clothes! Listen, that would never happen, just because I flame doesn't mean I'll stop being a tomboy, got it?)**so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!**(Well, if you insist...)**11 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux.**(If someone can figure out what ANY of that says... congrats)** fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111

"No!11" we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing meanly.**(He made bread angrily?)** He took out a kamera anvilly. Then… he came tords Darko!**(I'm trying to catch a Feebas in Pokemon Sapphire!)**1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle.**(Wow... it's like in Supernatural when they are about to summon a demon!)**

"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Snoop**(The rapper!)** laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!**(Why would a Dork Mark even BE there?)**

He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.**(I know what's coming next)**

"U must stab Vrompire."**(Called it!)** he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!1"**(So he'll rap Draco's name, I'm so scared)**

"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded.

But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy.**(Ugh, with the eye thing again)** He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist)**(Unfortunatly, I do get it now)**between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair.**(What. The. Fuck. You are dating Draco you messed up bitch)**I thought of da time when we screwed**(Um... alright then...)** and the time I did it with Draco**(Which time? And why were you thinking about your time with Vampire first?)** and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive.**(Yeah right! Didn't all he do was cry?)**

Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort.**(Okay, I'm a bit scared now)** He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire.**(Ha, this is a great mental image)** Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers**(Mary Sue trait)** I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape.**(Don't add new things so you can save the day. It makes it awful-even more awful then it already is)**

"Dumbeldork will get u!" Draco shooted.

"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11" Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.**(She has a wand now?)**

"You ridiculus dondderhed**(Love that word. Will be using it now)**!111" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him….**(Oh dear lord)**

"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound.**(*hysterical laughter* I honestly can't put this into normal words, it's just so funny)**Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming.**(Another great mental image!)** Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious.**(I hate texting)** I stopped doing crucio.

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came.**(Hahahahahaha)**

Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing."**(He was going to teach them the art of gay sex)**he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap.**(Heh)** Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go."**(Wow that was a lame chapter)**

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**There you go guys, chapter 30! 14 chapters left, see ya'll soon!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey guys, I got sick for FIVE DAYS. (Can you believe that?) Ah well, got some quality Pokemon playing time in. XD New chappie!**

***Does not own Harry Potter or My Immortal***

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Chapter 31.

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs**(Um... that's a new one. Did the preps get a new name?)**!111 stop kalin ebony a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok**(Hey, you said this at the beginning of last chapter)** so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111**(Quit thanking her, you know she's not helping or real)**

"I always knew u were on Voldemort's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)**(Already with the lame references!)**." Serious said 2 Snape.

"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Snap clamed.**(Uh huh. Teaching them yaoi?)**

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum out of my poket and gave it to Serverus. He made Snap dirnk it. He did arngrily.**(Wow. The spelling errors)** Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap.**(It makes me wonder if these videos end up on YouTube)** Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes.**(Hahahahahahaha)** Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times.**(Yeah, don't think that's actually possible)** Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room.**(I was in the dark room in my school today!)** Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort.**(Oh my god, it's starting)** Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over.**(I want a moving poster of Rascal Flatts)** Hermoine, Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid's store.

"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Trevolry.

"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut**(I don't think she knows the meaning of this word)** black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg.**(That sounds like something a cosplayer would wear)** I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen.**(*hums*)** Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.**(She probably looks like a hooker now guys)**

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said.

"Fangs." I said.

"Ok now you're going to go back in tim."**(Whoa, who is this Tim? And wouldn't he go back in her?)** said Proffesor Sinister. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill.**(Oh my god)** Then she gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me.**(A what?)** Every1 went in front of it.

"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin.**(Again, the what?)** Then….. I jumped sexily**(This ain't possible)** in2 da Pensive.

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen.**(Might I remind you that you have a boyfriend?)** He was wering long blak hair**(He has a wig on then)**, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans**(WTF are vans?)**. It was….Tom Bombodil!1111**(*sigh*)**

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**Chapter 31 everyone! Enjoy your brain bleach, please R&R!  
**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey guys. Spring Break is like in two days so I will not be able to update for awhile. :( So sorry to anyone reading. I will leave you with a chappie however. Enjoy!**

**I don't own Harry Potter. I do not own My Immortal.**

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Chapter 32.

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111**(Then why don't you go back and fix it then?)** if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111**(Sorry, I'll pass)** U SUK!111111**(So do you)**

"Hi." I said flirtily. "Im Enoby Way da new student."**(Did she just fuck up her name? While introducing herself?)** I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.**(Usually when I meet someone new I don't shake hands...)**

"Da name's Tom." he said. "But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam"**(Can I strangle her?)**

We shok hands.**(You made this apparent already)** "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan…..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?" (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den)**(Neither do Green Day...)** I asked.

"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Satan gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s)**(Just because a song "sounds" 80's doesn't mean it is. Therefore this song still didn't exist in the 80's)**

"omg me too!" I replied happily.

"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." satan whispered.**(Why did he whisper? Is it a secret?)**

"hogsment?" I asked.

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000."**(And he has magical time traveling powers and knows this!)** he told me all sekrtivly. "and theres a really cool shop called Hot-"

'topic!" I finshed, happy again.

He froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo."**(Pfffffffttttt)** He smiled skrtvli**(I don't know this word)** again. "then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic."**(Again, with magical time traveling powers he knows this!)** he moaned.

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me.**(I'm glad it is for you, because I'm just as confused as ever)** "so is dumblydor your princepill?" I shouted.**(WHY DID YOU SHOUT? BEHOLD THE POWER OF MY CAPS LOCK!)**

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'"

"OMfG SHME**(This word right here is epic. 'Who wants cake?' 'Shme please!')** TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.

"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik)**(I'm really getting sick of this 'geddit cos im goffik' shit)** he asked.

"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili.

Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!"**(Grumpy old man 'Get offa my lawn!' Syndrome much?)**

satan rolled his eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're in slytherine and we're not preps."

I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord."

"wtf?" he asked angrily.

"oh nuffin." I said sweetly.**(WTF is a nuffin. A new form of muffin?)**

then suddenlyn…. the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly."**(And you said all that in first person as you were falling? I would have looked at her weirdly too)**

"hey where r u goin?" **(That line is also epic)**satan asked as I fell.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry's classroom. dumblydum**(This is the best variation of his name I've seen)** wuz dere. "dumblydore I think I just met u." I said.

"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor said, trying to be all goffik.**(Wait, what's happening?)**

sinister came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing?"**(?)**

:"um." I looked at her.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."**(Again, ?)**

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.**(Can I just add more lines of question marks? I have no clue what she's talking about)**

professor sinster looked sad. "um I was drinking voldemortserum." she started to cry black tears of depression.**(Like when a Leviathen possesses a person in Supernatural?)** dumblydum didn't know about them.

"hey r u crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

"fuck off!" we both said and dumblydum took his hand away.

professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears.**(If her tears are black, they can't be limpid. Limpid means clear)** "omfg enoby…I think im addicted to Voldemortserum."

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**Wow that was painful. Again, this is the last chapter I will do in awhile, see you all in two weeks!**

**_-Neofanatic_**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey guys I'm back from break! New chappie!**

**Don't own this, never have, never will**

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Chapter 33.

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok**(You wrote it, technically it IS your fault!)** if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111**(Again, we aren't listening)** ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111**(Hear that guys? She means it this time!)** U SUK!1111**(Nope!)** fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1**(Why is it funny Tara?)**

"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly.**(Good news everyone! I'm a Nerdlinger now! Futurama owns my life now. T.T It's just that awesome)** "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?"**(*perks up* Is that a hospital for manga books? If so, my Pokemon Adventures manga needs some care... kinda ripped the cover on my volume 14...)**

"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim**(I wonder if she watched Futurama once, didn't get it, and then used it poorly in this story)**, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?"

"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.**(A new form of pajamas!)**

"Hey Sexxy." I said.**(How can you say twp 'x's at once I wonder?)**

"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.**(I think she has an obsession with Gerald Way!)**

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.

"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously.**(How would he know who Satan is? He wasn't back in time!)**

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.**(She sounded like a boar and a dog at the same time? Well then...)**

"Will you hav to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.**(Look at all the pointless crap -.-)**

"What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled.

"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly. He opened a door…Snap nd Lumpkin werz there!11 Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.**(Ummmm...)**

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood.**(I'M A VAMPIRE MWAHAHAHAHAHA!)** I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz)**(Was that AN even necessary?)**. We took sum of Snipe's blod den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves**(I planted those in Horticulture class!)** were kinda drity so I pot on**(Quit. Describing. Your. Clothing.)** a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on 'desolition liverz' by MCR. Den….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez.**(Did she JUST put on that WHOLE outfit only to have it taken off by Draco? Seriously, why mention it at ALL then!)** I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz.**(Why is that funny?)** We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily.**(She got that wrong!)** I gut an orgy.**(Who else is in the room?)**

"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation.**(First, I need brain bleach. Second, I think she means to say orgasim...)**

"I luv u TaEbory**(Best self insert fail ever)**." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol**(Again, it's not funny)**

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**Well, I'm back from Spring Break. I cleaned my room, became a Nerdlinger, and almost completed the Unova Pokedex in two short weeks! More updates coming soon guys, I'll see you in the near future!  
**

**-_Neofanatic_**


	34. Chapter 34

**I'm back people! Chapter 34 and I've only suffered mild brain damage! Here we go!**

**I don't own HP or MI**

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Chapter 34.

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111**(NO WE WON'T SO STOP ASKING!)** hav u even red de story!11**(Well, the parts we could actually read)** u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111**(HA! Wrong! Tomboy/Nerdlinger!)** fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1

I wook up in da coffin de next day.**(It's not very comfy in my locker...)** Draco waz gone. I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end.**(If you are reading this Tara, why did you feel the need to describe EVERYONE'S CLOTHES?!)** There wuz red korset stuff**(Lace) **going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth.**(I'm guessing this is the bootlegged gay sequel)** I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots.**(Why the random dash?)** Suddenly…. Sorious cocked on da door.**(The mental image I have...)** I hopened it.

"Hi Ibony." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor's office."

"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Draco or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence.**(You already did screw Draco. Last chapter.)** I came anyway.

"So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?" I asked Sorious flirtily.**(WTF?)**

"I fucking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian now, lol."**(Why is everything 'lol' now?)**

I laughed evilly.

"Where r Draco and Vampira?"**(Vampire got a sex change!)** I muttered.

"Dey are xcused form skool 2day."**(Why?)** Sodomize moaned sexily. "Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."**(I love that movie)**

We went into da office. Proffesor Sinister was there. She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic

( http/**(There's no link...)** She wuz drinking some Volximortserum.

She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.

"Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited." she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"**(All so casual!)**

And then….I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula.**(Which is now magically a goth cereal!)** It was mourning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson. I noticed…he was drinking a portent.**(Wonder who this could be)**

"Whose he!11" I asked.**(Even she's curious!)**

"Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn."**(If I wasn't in DTP right now I would be dying of laughter)** Satan said. "He's da Portents teacher…..Ebony?"

"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."**(What a boring movie! *announcer voice* Tonight at nine thirty, learn how one woman learned to work out like no other woman in... THE EXERCISE! *treadmills, weights and other equipment appear on screen* Really, who would go SEE that?)**

"Yah?"

"Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?"**(This sounds familiar)**

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**Well... chapter 34 everyone! I'm almost done my Unova Pokedex! *happy dance* 10 to go! Also, I have decided to end my poll. I'll have a new one up soon. See ya all soon!**

_**-Neofanatic**_


	35. Chapter 35

**I don't feel like doing English homework right now. So I'll do this insted!**

**I don't own this.**

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Chapter 35. gost of u**(Okay... back to pointless chapter titles)**

AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!**(Whoever you are Suzi... I blame you)**1 u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!**(*sigh*)**1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111**(THERE IS A GOD THANK YOU!)** oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!**(...You're joking, right?)**1 fangz.

I went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped…..Draco wuz there!111**(He can go back in time too?)**

I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.

"Draco what da fuk r u dong!111111" I gosped.

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn't Draco. It was Lucan!1 He stil had two arms.**(When did an arm get lost?)**

"Oh hi Lucian!1" I sed. "Im Ebony the new student lol we shook handz."**(Why is it always 'lol' now? I know Iasked that before but it's getting annoying)**

"Yah Satan told me abot you." Lusian said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz.**(Oh no)** They where siting in a corner kutting.**(EMO)** It wuz Serious, Vampire's dad and…Snap! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts. "Lizzen I'm in a goth band wif those guys." he said. "Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.**(Alrighty then)**

"ORLY." I ESKED.**(CAPS LOCK STUCK)**

"Yeah." he said. "Were calld XBlakXTearX.**(All real goth bands would kill you)** I play teh gutter.**(Is that the person who cleans the leaves out of the street where the bus is parked?)**Spartacus plays da drums" he said ponting to him.**(Okay that's normal)** "Snap plays the boss.**(The person that people beat in video games?)**And Jamez plays the guitar**(Okay that's normal too)** to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring."**(...You have killed a very good movie)**

"Hey bastards." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin.**(You know, I had a dream baout this 'touch sin' thing. Still made no sense)** Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't u have a lead singer!"**(They don't need one if they are a BACKUP BAND!)** I asked. Lucian looked dawn sadly.

"We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists."**(Everyone dies the same way in this story...)**

"Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1" I gasped.**(Ugggh)**

"Its okay but we need a new led snigger."**(What the hell is a snigger?)**Samaro said.

"Wel…..I said Im in a bnad myself."

"Rilly?" asked Snap. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111**(SHOCKER PLOT TWIST!)**

"Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?"**(****NO!)**

Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz.**(Only one of them had a guitar)** They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day.**(*cries*)**

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz." I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.

"Enopby? Will u join da band? Plz!1" begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious and Snap.**(Oh no...)**

"Um….ok." I shrugged. "Are we gong to play tonight?"

"Yah." they said.

"Ok." I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit.**(WHY?!)** I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Morty Mcfli!**(Who's that?)**1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.

"What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked.

"I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby." he said siriusly Den….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and…..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111**(Oh okay then. You do that)**

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**Chapter 35 everyone! Nine chapters to go! Please R&R!**

_**-Neofanatic**_


	36. Chapter 36

**I really feel like shit, but I'll do this anyway. Thanks to Otaku the Dearest for the review!**

**Don't own it.**

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Chapter 36.

AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111**(Does she copy & paste this at the start of every chapter?)**I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111**(haha no)** ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!**(If you say so!)**1 o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!**(I don't think she's actually helping anymore)**111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111**(Nooooo I'm half British)**

I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinister. B'lody Mary, Socrates and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to.**(I'm really tired right now, so this makes even less sense)**

"OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro and Snip nd everyone!11111**(Look at all the 1's! Sorry 1)** I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik!111111"

"Yah I no." Serious said sadly.

"Oh hey there bitch."**(Like a teacher would say that to a student)** Profesor Trevolry said in an emo voice dirnking some Volxemortserom.

Hi fuker." **(Like she could say that back to a teacher! You know, it's a wonder she hasn't been kicked out of this school yet. If she went to my school, she would have been gone within a day)** said. "Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date.**(Why must you torture us?)** Also I'm playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too."**(Noooooooo)**

"Oh my satan!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik)**(It's not even funny anymore)**gasped B'lody Mary. "Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?"

"OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11" said Profesor Trevolry.**(What the... where did THAT come from?!)**

"I can't fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Willow.

"Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry so she wont be adikted 2 Volxemortserum anymore nd also….sum luv potion 4 Enoby."**(Dear god NO!)** Darko said resultantly.

"Well we have potions klass now." Willow said so let's go.

We went sexily to Potionz class.**(Was stripper music playing?)** But Snap wasn't there. Instead there was…Cornelio Fuck!11111**(Oh my god, such an epic name)**

"Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore!111" Draco shouted angrily.

"STFU!1" shooted Cornelia Fuck. "He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is old and week he has kancer.**(...Do you think that's funny, Tara? Because people die of cancer. Good people. Like my grandpa. Thank you, this is the second time you have insulted me)**"Now do ur work!111"

My friendz and I talked arngrily.

"Can you BELEVE Snap used to be gottik!1" Vampire asked surprisedly.**(This is not a word)**

"DATZ IT!11" CORNELIO FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE!111"**(CAPS LOCK STUCK MUCH?)**

He stomped out angrily.

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer.**(...)** Suddenly I saw Hargrid in da cupboard.

"WTF is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva.**(Did this have anything to do with what you were just saying? No.)** Suddenly…"HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted.

I looked around….Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily.**(Again, was stripper music playing?)**

"God u r such a posr!1" I shooted at Hairgrid. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was…Amnesia Portion!111**(Okay)**

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**Good news everyone! I finished my Unova Pokedex! Now to finish the National! Please R&R, we're almost there!**

_**-Neofanatic**_


	37. Chapter 37

**Aaaaand I'm back!**

**I don't own it!**

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Chapter 37.

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX.**(Feels like smiling and crying)** fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11

DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL**(At least she made it clear whos perspective we're in)  
**

Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.

"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Enoby said. She wuz so hot.**(I highly doubt this!)** "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1"**(Can I ask HOW that would work?)**

"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata,"**(HA self insert fail!)** said Vampire. "Why would u need it?"

"To make everyfing go faster lol." said Enoby.**(Yeah Vampire, like, make it go faster lololololololol)**

"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly.**(Wow, just put it out there)**

"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Britney, a fucking prep.**(That was random)**

"Shut the fuk up!1" said Willow.

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry's room."

Draco, Ebory and I went to Profesor Siniater's room. But Profesor Sinister wasn't there. Instead Tom Rid was.**(Okay)**

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.**(Cloves? I think I already mentioned I planted thise in Horticulture!)**

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt**(Either we changed perspective or he's now bisexual!)** that said '666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.

"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag.**(...Yeah, think there was a perspective change there...)**

"OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do?" asked Draco. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

"Oh my fuking satan!1" I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now.**(*laughs*)** Classes shal be taught by Dubledork who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.**(That was actually funny)**

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11"

Suddenly Dumblydore came.

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly's blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it **(I don't know how this works)**leaving Draco and Vampire. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was…Profesor Slutborn's efface! I sneaked around.**(I can't think right now)** Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross.**(Crosses would kill you, you can't pick it up)** I put it in my poket.**(I should BURN you!)** Suddenly da door opened it wuz…..Profesor Slutgorn!11

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.**(This sentence made no sense)****  
**

"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket.**(Whoa, now she's trying to insert US into this shit fic?)**

"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Slutborn.

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes.**(Why would we ever agree to put your clothes on)** Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. "Wheres Satan?"

"Oh he's cumming."**(o.o)** said Serious. "BTW u can kall me Hades now." Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.**(I hate all this clothing description)**

"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Satan.**(Thank god it's over)**

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**And believe it or not, it gets even worse. Please R&R, see you next chapter**

_**-Neofanatic**_


	38. Chapter 38

**Back again! Bwahahahahahaha! Don't ask why I did that.**

**Don't own it.**

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Chapter 38.

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation?**(Just end it)** oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111**(Your quiz doesn't exist anymore but it probably was rigged so everyone was a prep!)**

Satan and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it.**(That wouldn't look very nice...)** On da license plate said 666 just lik Draco's car. I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it. We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan)**(lol You're so funny haha NO!)**, kuttting, musik and being goffik.**(Why would you talk about cutting?)**

"Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11" Volxemort agreed as we smoked sum weed.**(Well that was random and disturbing)** (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy)**(O_O *shakes head* We... didn't need to know that... at all...)**

"Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena." I said in a flirty voice.**(Why is she cheating on her boyfriend?)** "….Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?"

"Well…" he thought. "I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod."**(NO!)**

Suddenly Volxemort parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Satan and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist.**(Oh THAT'S the movie you meant!)** In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol.**(So... he chopped up the Fruit Loops and ground up the Cheerios? Now, if she'd said serial killer he would have killed the humans, but leave the cereal alone!)** Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we're sadists.**(I would have thrown up)**

While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan's gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar**(?)** sexily from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. I put it bak in his blak Emile the Strange bag.**(But you just said you took it from his pocket)** Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.**(Yeah right!)**

"OMG!111" Satan said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. "Enoby gess what?"**(What, what?)**

I new that the amnesia had worked.**(How?)**

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work." He said.**(If it hasn't been invented yet, how did he know what it was?)** "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u."

"Kul." I raised my eye suggestingly. And den…. he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out.**(Oh dear God!)** I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched.**(Brain bleach, brain bleach!)**

"Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111" shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.**(Maybe so but no one wants to see two horny teenagers doing it in a movie theater!)**

"Fuk u!11" I said. Suddenly…. I attaked her suking all her blood.

"Noooooo!11" she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether.**(I'm suuuuure they did)** Satan and I started to walk outside.**(Did they at least get dressed?)**

"Zomg how did u do that?" Voldremort asked in a turned-on voice.

"I'm a vampire." I said as we went into the car.

"Siriusly?" he gasped.

"Yah siriusly." I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.**(Wait... I thought he knew she was a vampire)**

"Itz too bad we didn't get 2 c da rest of the movie, don't u fink?"

"Yah." I said as we kised passively. Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Draco and I had watched GC for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol.**(Why is it always lol? I hate that!)**

"Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Marlin on da stage. We did the devil fingers.**(The what?)** I started 2 dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay!1 He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.**(I don't care)**

"I wood like to peasant…..XBlakXTearX!11" he said. I ran onstage. Lucian, Samaro, Snap and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.**(And then fell down and died)**

"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard Woy. Everyone clappd. Satan got an eructation. "I'M NUT OKAY!1" I sang finaly. Suddenly Lucian started playing da song wrong by mistak.**(Haha!)**

"OMFG!1" yielded James. "Wut the fuck?"**(No need to go there, it was a mistake!)**

"Woops im sory!" said Lucian.

"You fuking ashhole!1" James shouted angrily.**(IT WAS A MISTAKE!)**

"U guys are such prepz!11" Snap said. "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1"**(See?)**

"Yah itz not his fault!11" said Serious.

"No he ruined the fucking song!1" yelled Samaro.**(No he didn't!)**

"U guys stop!11" I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.**(Wow... so exciting!)**

"OMFG no!11" shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late James tried 2 shoot off his arm.**(With a knife? You can't shoot a knife)**

And den…I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11**(YAY!)**

"No!111" yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.**(Maybe she died!)**

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**Chapter 38 everyone! Getting close to the end here, lets make these last chapters count! Please R&R!**

_**-Neofanatic**_


	39. Chapter 39

**YES! Best chapter EVER! For those who don't know, it was at this chapter where Tara's account was hacked by an awesome troll who left us this beautiful thing. Whoever you are, unknown troll, you are amazing. Because of this epicness, I'm not even commenting on the first part! I'll meet up with you halfway down the page!**

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Chapter 39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz

Disclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.

AN/ I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, the American retail wearing british vampire Sue, coughed up blood.

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."

Satan sobbed. "I love you Ebony."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

B'loody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, and every single gothic person she could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN/I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married.

Meanwhile...

Down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.

And then it occured to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Ebony supressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.

Ebony slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Omigod."

/End Crap Fic.

AN/ Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it here:

**Looks like this is where I jump in.**

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11**(Poor number 1 always has to be put in the AN)** oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz.**(WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SAYING LOLZ?)** fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111**(Okay then)**

I woke up in da Norse's offace on a special gothik coffin.**(Oh come ON!)** Hairgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Draco had bet him up.**(*laughs* Okay, now THAT'S funny!)** Mr.**(Chuck)** Noris was cleaning the room.

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed.**(You got shot)** Suddenly Volxemort came. He loked less mean then usual.**(Are we in the past or present?)**

"Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11" he said arngrily.**(Oh, we're in the present now)** Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.**(...How?)**

"Volxemort? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.**(You just yelled at him, and now you ask him what's wrong? What...)**

Sudenly…. Lucian, Profesor Sinister and Serious came! B'lody Mary and Vampire were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.**(How exciting!)**

"OMFG Enoby ur alive!111" Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B'lody Mary.**(Like they'd be happy to see her)**

"What the fuk happened?" I asked dem. "Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?"**(Wow, how stupid can ya get? You're talking and moving, obviously you're NOT dead!)** I gosped.

"Enoby u were almost shot!11"**(Um, she WAS shot!)** said Serious. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time."**(Can you spell M-A-R-Y-S-U-E?)**

"But fangz anyway!1" said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!**(Again, when did he lose an arm?)****  
**

"OMG I cant beleve Vampirz' dad shot u!1" I gasped.** (Wait, I'm confused now, who else did Vampire's dad shoot?)**

"Well 2 be honest Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den."**(He was possessed by himself. Well that makes fuck all sense)** said James.

"Yah he wuz a spy." Serious said sadly. "He wuz really a Death Dealer."**(I don't care)**

"And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11" said Lucian. "He didn't even realy no hu GC were until I told him."**(Oh the horror!)** Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents.**(WTF why? It's not like it was her birthday!)** I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it)**(Doesn't she already own this movie?)** on it when I gasped. Mr.**(Chuck)** Noris looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.**(Or he hates you)**

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?" I asked gothikally.**(How can you speak 'gothikally'?)**

"No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax."**(...Sounds interesting)** said Profesor Trevolry. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"

I got up suicidally. Lucian, Serious and Profesor Sinister left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun.**(Please stop the description. It's killing my braincells)** Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong**(Skank!)** (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif B'lody Mary, Willow and Vampire.**(...Yay...)**

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willow.**(Why are we celebrating?)**

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1" giggled Vampire.**(It's official now, Vampire is the gayest person ever. Giggled? Come on now)**

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11" said Hermoine.**(Oh my God she actually used her real name)** We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den…..I gasped… Draco wuz there doing it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111**(Haha you're boyfriend is cheating on you for a change!)** He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.

"U fucking prep!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.**(Really?)**

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake's.**(Snake doesn't have a 'thingie'. Really, she needs to go back through sex ed and learn proper terms here)**

"No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111" said Willow trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1).**(After you killed her)** I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.**(Mmmmmm... steak)**

"Enoby no!11111" screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.**(...Alright then)**

Sincerely,

An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Id entity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P

A.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains.

**Chapter 39! And also, next chapter is a repeat of this one, because for some reason the anon decided to post it twice. I'll still post it, but I dunno if I'll comment differently or just put random Futurama quotes in. Either way, see you guys next chapter, four more to go!**

_**-Neofanatic**_


	40. Chapter 40

**So again, this chapter is a repeat of last one, so I'm just gonna say random things and see what happens. You can skip this chapter if you want, or read my irrelevant comments. Enjoy peeps.**

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Chapter 40. LOL! Someone has taken my account over!

THE IDIOT'S NOTE: Well... this was in the doc area... might as well let the whole world see what the real Tara wanted to show us...**(You already did)** Have a nice day!

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111**(I watched the first Futurama movie on the weekend and it confused EVERYTHING. It bent it's own canon in it's canon! But it made more sense than this shit!)** U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111**(Bullshit creepypasta is really funny)**

I woke up in da Norse's offace on a special gothik coffin.**(In Futurama, Fry 'Did the nasty in the pasty.' And that past natstification made him the most important person in the universe)** Hairgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Draco had bet him up. Mr. Noris was cleaning the room.**(Maybe one day Neopets will get a server that doesn't crash so often!)**

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed.**(I made a fan character for Futurama... she's the daughter of Fry and Leela, and since I had no creativity, her name is Layla)** Suddenly Volxemort came. He loked less mean then usual.**(I don't want to introduce her, because I don't want her to be a Mary Sue!)**

"Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11" I yielded.**(For the story I'm writing in RL, I ran all of them through Mary Sue Litmus tests, and they all scored really low. So that's good)**

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11" he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.**(TELL THEM I HATE THEM!)**

"Volxemort? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.**(Maybe I'll run Layla through a test, then I can introduce her)**

Sudenly…. Lucian, Profesor Sinister and Serious came! B'lody Mary and Vampire were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.**(I don't know why, but 'Warrior' by Ke$ha reminds me of Futurama)**

"OMFG Enoby ur alive!111" Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B'lody Mary.**('Jet Lag' by Simple Plan reminds me of when Ash first went to Hoenn)**

"What the fuk happened?" I asked dem. "Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.**(How did screen ink make it's way up my arm?!)**

"Enoby u were almost shot!11" said Serious. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time."**(It was hailing yesterday)**

"But fangz anyway!1" said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!**(Bender)**

"OMG I cant beleve Vampirz' dad shot u!1" I gasped.**(Tinny Tim)**

"Well 2 be honest Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den." said James.**(Philip J. Fry)**

"Yah he wuz a spy." Serious said sadly. "He wuz really a Death Dealer."**(Ash Ketchum)**

"And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11" said Lucian. "He didn't even realy no hu GC were until I told him." Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Noris looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.**(I know it's not her canon last name, but Misty Waterflower)**

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?" I asked gothikally.**(Another non canon, but Block Slate)**

"No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." said Profesor Trevolry. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"**(Turanga Leela)**

I got up suicidally. Lucian, Serious and Profesor Sinister left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif B'lody Mary, Willow and Vampire.**(This is really painful)**

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willow.**(Is this chapter almost over?)**

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1" giggled Vampire.**(Oh good it almost is over)**

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11" said Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den…..I gasped… Draco wuz there doing it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.**(I'm making Fry and Leela figurines out of clay!)**

"U fucking prep!11" we all yielded angrily.**(I'm halfway through the third Futurama movie. :D Almost caught up with the series now)**

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.**(Blah blah blah, insert Mary Sue here, blah blah blah insert pointless crap)**

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake's.**(I had pizza for lunch)**

"No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111" said Willow trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.**(I also had a granola bar)**

"Enoby no!11111" screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.**(Oh thank god it's over)**

Idiot's Note: Ugh... I know... terrible... but then again, this wouldn't be called the 'worst fanfic ever if not for the fact that the writing standards meets the level of a day old fetus...

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**Well, the commentary on this chapter was just as pointless as the chapter was. If someone actually DID read this, well, there you go. Next chapter is a proper one, I'll see you all then! Please R&R!**

_**-Neofanatic**_


	41. Chapter 41

**Back again! Almost done! Wooooo! Party in the basement! No, not really, but here's your next chapter. **

**Don't own it**

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Chapter 41.

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is**(You're somewhat correct)** ur proly al prepz and pozers!11111**(Like I said before, tomboy/nerdlinger)** neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount**(I know it was glorious too)** in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1.**(That's too bad)** im surry 4 nut updatin while but ive been rilly bizzy.**(Hey, that's my excuse!)** im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!111**(Uh huh. Yeah. Sure)** I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako.**(If that was to happen, I would die of laughter)** if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11**(No you won't. Hollow threat)** raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.

When I wook up I wuz in a strange room.**(Was it my locker?)** I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!11**(At least she didn't describe it)** I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band**(How about no?)** 2 ok koz he is more old den panic? at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.'**(They'd broken up before that, you dumb fuck)**

"OMFG! Im back in Tim again!111"**(Why are you in Tinny Tim? He's just a poor innocent robot child with a crutch for an arm! What did he ever do to you?)** I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11**(Okay then)**

"OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally.

"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily. "OMG am I dedd?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111**(She already asked if she was dead before, and she wasn't)**

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing.**(*chants* Mary-Sue, Mary-Sue, Mary-Sue)** I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.

"No ur not dead." Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face.**(I highly** doubt** this)** "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet.**(Since when?)** Cum on now lets go c how Hairy's dad is doing."

I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future.**(No, it's just because you're a Mary-Sue)** "WTF! James almust shot Luciious!" I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.**(*blink* Reading this while tired is not something I'd recommend!)**

"Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress."**(So it's okay to swear and shoot people when you have a headache? Gotcha. I'll keep that in mind)** Satan reasoned evilly.

"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucian.**(Wait, huh?)** Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1.**(I still don't remember him losing an arm!)** I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!11**(How do YOU know he's bi?)** He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants.**(That clothing description was painful)** He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically.**(Has she murdered another character?)**

"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.

"Dis is…Hedwig!11"**(Looks like she has!)** Sed Volximort. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.**(I guess that makes sense?)**

"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.**(You liar. You totally want to screw him, just admit it)**

"Lol hi Enoby."**(How does he know her name?)** He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature.**(That's funny)** He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!)**(I don't want to pretend!)**

"Bye." I sed all sexily.

"Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up."**(That's so typical of Tara)** Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.

"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!"**(OMG how bout no?)** I said fingering something I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif**(I don't think I've ever heard of this)** (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz!).

"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!1" **(Wait, he's already in class)**I led them to da Great Hall. "Cum on u guys."

Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him.

"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!1"**(...I'm having a derp moment)**

"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.

"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great.**(What plan?)** Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him!**(Just admit you want to)** Now Vampire's dad wood never die and "OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.**(O.O I really should have seen this coming...)**

"Kool." said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily.**(Brain bleach please!)** We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily.**(Oh God...)** Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.

"Oh my fukking god! Voldimort! Voldimort!" screamed Hedwig as his glock touched Voldemort's.**(...Sensitive, are we?)**

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame…Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!111111111111**(XD Can you imagine their faces?)**

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**Please R&R! Thanks to the anon readers and all the reviewers... so close to the finish line!**

_**-Neofanatic**_


	42. Chapter 42

**And another chappie! Kinda sad actually, I don't know what I'll do after this commentary. D: I'll find something though! **

**Do not own it.**

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Chapter 42. da blak parade**(Oh, another pointless chapter title. How exciting)**

AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!1111.**(Wait a minute, not sure if she can read or just making herself sound good)** I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!1111**(I'm not sure if this is correct or not, but if it is, I bet she just read Wikipedia to find out this information)** nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!111**(...That doesn't make any sense!)** omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it?**(No, not really. It would give the children nightmares)** If dey don't den JKR is hamophobic!111111**(...No.)** fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!111

I sat depressedly in Dumbledork's office wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap and Lucian.**(Haha!)** Dumbledore was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future.**(*sarcastic* NOOOOOOOOO really?! I didn't know people aged with time!)** He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.**(If it's so shitty, why is it on YOUR iPod?)**

"What da hell is this anyway?" he cackled meanly.**(I was wondering when he was going to ask this. Also, how did he know how to turn it on and change it to a song?)** I hoped he didn't find out dat I was frum another time.

"Whatever u do don't blame Ibony, u jerk." Satan said.**(He has every reason to blame her!)**

"Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together."Serious said deviantly.

"Be quiet you Satanists." Dumbledore cockled.**(Again with sounding like he has a dick down his throat)** "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to Akazaban! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n'Sync song.**(Well then)** Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Dumblydore didn't notece.**(How?)**

"You fucking poser." I muttoned.

"I bet you've never herd of GC." James said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly's tim machine!11**(...Yeah, and how is he not noticing this?)**

"Shut up Jomes!" Drako's dad shouted.

"Yeah shut up!" Snake said preppily.

"No u shut up Dumblydore!1111" said Tom.**(Fight, fight, fight!)**

"I've had enough of u Satanists in my school!" shouted Dumbledore spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. "Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was…..Satan.**(Okay then)**

"You dunderheads!1111111111" screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.**(Awww, it's not donnderheads anymore :(**

I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.**(So in other words, you looked like a hooker)**

"Hey kool where iz dis?" he asked in an emo voice.

"Dis is da future. Dumbeldore's iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine." I told him.**(Man, this is painful to read)**

"Kool what's an ipatch?" he whimpered.**(*commercial voice*An iPatch is the new invention from Apple. It's an electronic patch that you stick on your arm and is a substitute for cigarettes.)**

"It's somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music." I yakked.**(Yakked?)**

"OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?"**(Where the hell did that come from?)** he esked in his sexah voice.

"Um I guezz sand?"**(WRONG!)** I laid confuesdly.

"Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon." **(...Whatever floats your boat, I guess)**He triumphently giggled.**(Satan is gay as well)**

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

"OMG you're fucking alive!" said Ginny**(OH MY GOD IT'S A PROPER NAME)** wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive.

"Konichiwa, bitch." said Willow. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.**(And you really think we care?)**

"Hey, motherfucker." Said Diabolo with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.

"Hey whose that, Ibony?" B'loody Mary questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.

"Oh its Satan." I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.**(Or she just nodded because she wanted to make it seem like she knew the truth)**

Suddenly Satan started to cry.**(I don't understand why)**

"Are you okay Satan?" we asked concernedly.

"OMFG ur from da future!1! What if u don't like m anymore koz were from difrent times?" he asked.**(What the fuck does that have to do with friendship or whatever? Fry is from the past, and his best friends are a robot and a cyclops FROM THE FUTURE. Being from different times doesn't matter!)**

"No I still like you." I said sexily to him.**(If she'd taken out the sexily part, I wouldn't be calling her a skank. But she is. You have a boyfriend you cheater, but I guess that doesn't matter)**

"Ok." He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep.**(I guess 'Diabolo' was doing a shitty job in keeping him occupied!)** I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Sinister ran in!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.**(LOTS as in really thick, or LOTS as in someplace else other than her eyes?)**

"Oh my fucking god, where's Draco!111 How did Snap get back here! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan." I asked sadly.

"Ebony I was so worried abott u but I know you can't fucking die because you're a vrompire.**(That makes no sense. First she couldn't die because she was from the future, and now she can't die because she's a vampire. Magic!)** Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student." Trevolry said reassuredly.

"That bitch!11 Did she also free Hargrid and Loopin?" I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep.**(Just admit you hate EVERYONE)**

"Yes they are on the loose at this school. Dumblydore is back Cornelia is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!" Trevolry said worriedly.**(This is so uninteresting and confusing)**

"OK. But where's Dracko? How cum he was doing it with Snap?"

"I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself." she said.**(Well then)**

"OMG dat's terrible!" I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!" wiv dat I ran out.**(Bye! Don't come back! We won't miss you!)**

"Good luck Tara!11" everyone cried.**(SELF INSERT)**

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly.**(Haha what?)** There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs.**(I bet she was based of someone she hated in RL)** She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it**(Oh no, I have shirts with flowers on them, does that make me a slut? Methinks not)**, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.

"You fucking bitch!111" I shouted angrily.

"No, your totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill u!" she laughed.**(Stereotype much? I mean, I know people who talk like this, but that's pushing the stereotype too far)**

"Crucious!1" I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.**(Okay, we'll just wait here then while you do that)**

"No!1 Help me!1 Please!1" Britney screamed terrifiedly.**(You know, even though I don't see eye to eye with the 'preps' I would help her)**

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Snape and Lumpin had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Voldimort doing it with Hedwigg onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter. "OMG Vampira!111"**(He got another sex change!)** I yielded.

We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow.**(*announcer voice* The latest invention from Apple, the iShadow!)** His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!1)"I wus so worried you died!" moaned Vampire.

"I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Voldimort from when he was yung with me."

"Where's Draco?" I asked spuriously.

"Draco? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?"**(He did, didn't he? You should break up with him)** Vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.

"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY.**(CAPS LOCK IS STUCK HELP EVERYTHING SOUNDS LIKE SHOUTING)**

"I'll do it den." Harry said angstily.

"OK." I argreed. Suddenly….all da lights in da room went out. And den….da Dork Mark appeared.**(Okay then)**

"Oh my fucking satan!" Harry shouted.

"I fink Voldimort has arrivd." I sed anxiously. "Fuck, I have to find Draco!1 I guess we shood separate."

"Ok." Vampire sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.**(Yeah you go do that)**

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**Only two chapters left? Wow, time sure flies when you're having fun. Please please PLEASE R&R, I would really love to see what you guys think/like about my writing, that way I'll know what to use in my next undetermined fic. ;) See you all soon, my readers!**

_**-Neofanatic**_


	43. Chapter 43

**I'm back. Don't own it**

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Chapter 43.

AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111

I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person.**(Okay)** Draco was there! He sat der in deddly bloom**(Sorry the what?)** in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists!111**(Okay then)** I felt mad at him for having sexwith Snape but I felt sorry for him.**(Wow I just don't care anymore)** He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes**(Normal humans don't have red eyes)** and his pale white face.

"Draco are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm not okay." he screamed depressedly.**(You are never okay, especially since you were dragged into this stupid thing)** I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry.**(There are songs that make me cry too)** I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

"Oh Draco why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?" I asked teardully.**(Because he realized that you weren't good enough for him)**

"I-" Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr.**(Chuck)** Norris appearated in2 da room! They didn't see us.**(I have no clue how they wouldn't see them)**

"Im so glad we me and Snape were freed." said Loopin.

"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't 4 da fukking students!" Mr.**(Chuck)** Norris argreed.

"Pop addelum!111" I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them.**(Now they'll see you)**

"Noooooooo!1" Lupin shouted as chains came on him. Mr.**(Chuck)** Norris ran away.

"You fukking perv." I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. "Now u have 2 tell us where Voldimort is or I'm gong 2 torture u!"**(Because torturing solves everything)**

"I don't now where he is!1111" said Loopin. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn't know who Satan was really.**(See, you should have your characters know each other, because it just confuses everything if you don't, and then things get confusing, and why am I trying to make sense out of this... this... thing?)**

"Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!1" Vampire said. I looked sexily at Draco with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way, Vampir with his sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Satan who looked jist like Brandan Urie then.**(Guys, you might want to look away, what happens next scarred me and I had to go watch My Little Pony for two hours. Did I mention I don't really like My Little Pony? I mean, it's cute, but the fandom really scares me. Anyway, last chance to leave)**

I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Draco sexily.**(Can I have my blankie?)** Loopin gasped. Draco began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack.**(Seriously, I want my blankie ._.)** Then Vampire took his own clotes off too.**(Dear God, I can't believe I have to read this again)** We all began making out 2gther sexily.**(*Darth Vader voice* Nooooooooooooo!)** I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes.**(I'd rather go read creepypasta then this)** Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol.**(Seriously, where's the creepypasta site?)** "Oh mi satan! Draco!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Harry.**(-_- Okay I'm really sick of reading the shitty lemons in this story, thank god it's the last one) ** I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in.**(A foursome, huh?)** "OMS!111" cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed screamed.**(She didn't just scream, she screamed screamed. Remember that guys)** "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry in pleasore.**(I see he's gone back to his normal name)** Loopin watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists.**(While having sex you were torturing as well? My God, so talented!)** Suddenly…..

….a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows.**(Oh okay)** And Snap wuz in it!11

**One more left! One more freaking chapter left! Then I can quit losing brain cells! Keep the reviews coming, lets go out with a bang!  
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	44. Chapter 44

**YES! LAST CHAPTER EVER! I want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, and supported the life of the story. When I started this commentary, I wasn't sure if I was going to finish it. But logging in and seeing so many people had read it, and reading your kind reviews gave me the courage to continue. So thank you all again, and enjoy this last chapter!**

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Chapter 44.

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!**(What's glamming?)**111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!1 tom fleton is so hot lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!1111**(Okay...)** omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.**(No, it's the last chapter ever. Nice try though)**

"Dat's mi car!" shooted Draco angrily.**(Uh, no it's NOT)** But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz….Snape!**(You already made that apparent last chapter)**

"I shall free you Loopin but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads."**(Yes we're back to using donnderhead again!)** he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed.**(*drags out boombox* PARTAY!)** Den the Dork Lord shall never die!"

"You fucking prep!"**(How does that make him a prep?)** yelled Draco. Then he loked at me sadly. "I forgot to tell u, Ebony. Snape made me do it with him. I didn't really have sexx him but he's a ropeist!"**(Uh huh. Yeah. Sure)**

We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!1 But Satan didn't change. Instead he changed into a man with gren eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into… Voldemont!111**(Wait, wait, wait, is he still naked?)**

"I knew who thou were all along." he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. "Now I shall kill thee all!"**(Oh yeah! Pack up your bags, we're going to Mars Vegas baby!)** Thunder came in da room.**(So the sound echoed. Big deal. Lighting would have been more terrifying)**

"No plz don't kill us!" pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, B'loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Drocula, Fred and Gorge, Hargrid, McGonagall, Dumblydore, Serious and Lucian all ran in.**(At the same time while pushing and shoving? Cool)**

"What is da meaning of dis?" Dumblydore asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.) He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily.**(The stripper music is back guys)** Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.**(Bwahahahaha!)**

"Oh my goth!" Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)**(SHUT UP)**

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Snape ejaculated**(Whoa, okay then, don't get too excited)** menacingly.

"You fucking preppy fags!" Serious shouted angrily.

"I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!"**(You liar, that's not a four letter word at all!)** screamed Harry but da sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car.**(...yay...)** It fell down Snap quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.

"Oh my fucking god!1" I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Drako and the video of Satan doing it with**(She actually didn't finish the sentence)**

"If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull.**(Ah, the common themes of highschool, always some video circulating around. Also, that's not cool)** Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton."**(...Paris Hilton goth? Excuse me while I go laugh myself into a coma)** He laughed meanly.

"No!" I scremed. "FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Loopin!11"**(And the plot thickens...)**

"Whats she talking abott?" Lupin slurped**(Hey, why does he have a slurpie and I don't?)** as he sat in chains.

"I saw 2 she's gunna show evry1 da picter!111" Harry shouted angrily.**(Wow, this is laaaaame)**

"Shut up!111'" Lumpkin**(He's a pumpkin now!)** roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!" yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye soon."**(Good)**

"Think again you fucking muggle poser!1" Harry yelled and then he and Diablo and Navel both took out blak guns!**(What happened to their wands?)** But Voldimort took out his own one.

"U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!111"**(...That's not right...)** I shouted despariedrly.

"Acco Nevel's wand!11" cried Voldrimort nd suddenly Nevil's wind was in his hands.**(Oh okay)** "Now I shall kill thee all and Evony u will die!11111"**(Hooray!)**

He maid lighting come all over da place.

"Save us Ebony!" Dumbledark cried.**(I wouldn't save him. Never)**

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco**(All at the same time?)** but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.

"ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted.**(THAT'S THE END!)**

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**WOOHOO! 44 chapters DONE! Again, thank you guys sooo much for your reviews, and reading, and letting me know my work is good, because I thought it kinda sucked. :) I hope you enjoyed this My Immortal commentary, stay safe, and have a wonderful day. :)**

**_-Neofanatic_**


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